Ghost of a Chance
by FloraxRose
Summary: He thinks that maybe he was wrong, that they weren't fated or destined or meant to be, and whilst they may find their happily ever afters, it won't be together. They’ve missed each other by a whisper far too many times for anything else to be true. LEYTON
1. Sound of Silence

**A/N- Hey guys, this is my first story so I hope you like it! I don't think its going to be very long...only a few chapters I think.**

**It is set during 4.09 (seems like a long time ago). Everything up to the whole "It's you" speech is the same except that there is no Daunte and Lucas did take his HCM medication. This first chapter is mainly repeating what happened in 4.09 but that will change.**

**Disclaimer-I do not own One Tree Hill**

* * *

Love.

It can mean nothing, everything and anything in between. Love can be defined as a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction, or a score of zero in tennis or squash. It can be a term of endearment and applied to the most banal and ordinary of objects whilst all the while it can be the most important thing there is.

And then there was the type of love she was enduring. It wasn't the stuff of fairytales or novels. Nobody created great works about what she was enduring. There was no cure or solution, only the torture of knowing that she was alone in her emotions; that whilst she pined he continued living his life, blissfully unaware. It was the type of love that breeds self loathing and self pity, the sort of love that made you want to hate who you felt it for but, at the same time, made that hatred impossible. There was no storybook ending, only tears and pain on her part and ignorance on his. This was the love that nobody was taught about and certainly nobody fantasized about. It wasn't romanticized but instead ignored.

Nobody wanted to hear about the unrequited love. There was never a "happily ever after" to follow so what's the point of it anyways?

Peyton Sawyer saw something recently. "Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back." She'd never read so much bull.

She wasn't quite sure how she'd gotten so cynical so quickly. Once upon a time she was all sarcasm and skepticism. Brooke never ceased to complain about her "loser rock" that seemed to mirror the turmoil she hid behind complex layers apathy and indifference. But that all changed over the past year and a half. Ever since he came into her life she'd been increasingly less doubtful and bitchy. She trusted more and mocked less. That wasn't to say that her quick wit and cutting remarks had gone but they had softened. Comments that were once meant to hurt had turned to playful teasings. She found herself starting to believe in fate and destiny, something which he had taught her about.

It took Lucas Scott one syllable for her to turn back to the old Peyton. As soon as the sound fell from his lips the wounded look flashed through Peyton's eyes and her walls began to rapidly rebuild.

She'd just declared her love for him and he couldn't find it in himself to come up with a better reply than a shocked "oh" and, after an awkward pause, a half hearted mumbled excuse about them being friends. She remained silent and hurt, furiously rebuilding the barriers she had torn down for him.

And then, true to form, he did what people seemed to do best when confronted with Peyton's love.

He left.

* * *

Brooke Davis wasn't renowned for being patient, or gracious if things weren't going her way. She was feisty and possessive and sometimes fiercely loyal, as long as it wasn't her that you had crossed.

Peyton used to love this about the brunette. Her independence and charisma made up for whatever intelligence she lacked. That wasn't to say Brooke wasn't bright, because she was, but it was a sort of street smart, not book smart.

Slowly, however, Peyton had come to fear the brunette. She was the one who had the power to take away her happiness, it seemed that way since Lucas had come into the picture anyways. What had started out as "Lucas and Peyton" swiftly and irrevocably turned to "Brooke and Lucas". Now Peyton tried to convince herself that Brooke need not be feared, but instead ignored or bitched at. Brooke had, after all, gotten what she wanted: a heartbroken Peyton.

But Brooke just sat in shock as Peyton told her that she had been struck by some sort of brave, or insane, impulse and told Lucas how she felt, and he hadn't reciprocated at all.

"You can smile now."

But Brooke didn't smile. A flash of recognition clouded her vision as she looked at the blonde and realized that Peyton had been just as broken by Lucas as she had.

That thought left her mind as quickly as it came in. It was replaced by a far truer statement.

Peyton had been broken by Lucas _more_ than Brooke ever had.

Brooke looked at the girl she'd once called her best friend with a look of pity and regret. Peyton had been so unfortunate in her 17 years of life. Two dead mothers, two absent fathers, one runaway ex-boyfriend, one ex-boyfriend who had been with her purely for sex and some twisted form of companionship, a psycho stalker, a gun shot, drugs, abandonment….Lucas. And then Brooke realized she was a part of that mix also. She had left Peyton and, although she couldn't quite imagine them ever reconciling and becoming what they once were, she suddenly let go of the grudge she held. They were even.

Peyton Sawyer had paid her penance. There was no karmic imbalance. Brooke didn't have to punish her anymore for anything.

If anything Brooke Davis began thinking that Peyton Sawyer really deserved to catch a break.

* * *

"You said 'oh'?" Skills asked incredulously. "Hold on, Peyton say she's in love with you and you said 'oh'?"

Lucas let out a strained breath as he tried to reason with Skills, and himself.

"Nice work player!" Skills joked and Lucas just shook his head as though that was all the reasoning that was necessary.

"She caught me by surprise, what was I supposed to say?" Lucas argued.

"Not 'oh'!" Skills returned and Lucas only shrugged half heartedly despite the fact that he knew Skills was completely right. Anything would have been better than 'oh'. "Ok, what else did you say?"

"I…I mumbled something about us being friends…and then I left." Lucas broke Skills' gaze. He was particularly ashamed about that part of the evening. He knew Peyton and displays of emotions didn't exactly go hand-in-hand. He knew that she was crushed every time she reached out. He knew she thought "People always leave" and she believed herself to be the common, toxic ingredient in that formula. And yet, when she reached out, Lucas pushed her away and he did something he promised never to do to her.

He left.

He had tried to reason with himself. She wouldn't have wanted him there anyways. He couldn't be "that guy" for her on this one, much as it pained him. She would have wanted him to leave her in peace. He wasn't leaving her; he was letting her let him go.

He shook his head and let out a little snort of angered laughter at himself. He knew Peyton better than that. She would have been embarrassed but since Brooke left her, he was her closest friend. She needed that and he knew it.

"And you believe that? That you and P. Sawyer are just friends?" Skills snapped him from his reverie.

And Lucas tried once more to rationalize. Things had never worked out for him and Peyton and he had had to let that fantasy go. Reality wasn't always as appealing but it was necessary.

"She's just a little confused." He knew the words weren't true on some level. "She's had a hard year and I happened to be there to rescue her a few times."

"So maybe you the one who's confused!" Skills accused and Lucas could only shoot him back an odd stare. Peyton loved _him_, not the other way around. It was her feelings that were dubious, not his. "Because you didn't just _happen_ to rescue her a few times. You didn't just _happen _to run back into school that day or save her from psycho Derek. Peyton happened to be there, but you _chose_ to be there. So…maybe you ought to think about that."

Lucas was stumped because Skills, struck by some moment of clarity and wisdom, had provided an insight that Lucas had missed as he replayed his relationship with Peyton back in his mind. Peyton didn't orchestrate these situations so that he would save her, but as they happened he was, without fail, her knight in shining armour. She didn't choose him to play Superman to her Lois Lane, he cast himself in that role. He insisted on being there for her perpetually.

Lucas threw the last of his clothes into the gym bag and nodded slowly before walking out of his door with Skills at his heels, unsure of what to do or say.

Because this was the way it was with them. One of them pushed while the other pulled, and sometimes they lost each other, sometimes they worked there way a little bit closer and sometimes one of them managed to forget.

But it was still always there.

Always.

* * *

The orange sphere flew majestically through the hoop as though it was as natural as breathing.

The final buzzer went and a collective gasp of air was released, either in triumph or in sorrow depending on your team.

Today somebody won and somebody lost.

Lucas Scott fell to his knees.

The Tree Hill Ravens had just won the North Carolina State Championships. He had scored the deciding basket just before the buzzer. Everything blurred for a second. The lights seemed brighter and the world became rose-tinted.

So this is what euphoria feels like?

The roar of the crowd filtered through and Lucas found himself being lifted by a mob of people. The confetti rained down upon them and it felt to Lucas the way the snow had felt to Peyton when she described it as they sat in the library. Their world had been taken away and replaced by another one…a better one. A town that once shunned him embraced him like he was their pride and joy, well now he _was _their pride and joy. The brother he once denied existed came up and they shared a moment. There was recognition, respect and familial love that passed between them. They did this together and nobody could take that away from them.

Brooke sought him out and grabbed him into a hug. He'd felt encompassed and appreciated and…platonic with her. She smiled that famous Brooke Davis smile. They both laughed as she sputtered his name whilst ridding her lip of the confetti that had landed there. It felt right for her to be there as his friend again. They'd overcome the drama and the jealousy. They'd outgrown their ill-fated relationship and they'd moved past the insecurities and heartbreak. They had each other's backs.

And then she said something that Peyton once asked him about.

"This is a dream come true!"

And he agreed because it was, it all was. He looked around and soaked it in because he knew that dreams like this didn't happen everyday.

"So who do you want standing next to you?"

Lucas' eyes snapped back to Brooke and she looked at him with a knowing smile. She was playing fairy godmother and she loved every second of it. She nodded over to her and time stood still. He wasn't sure what that meant.

She looked radiant. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail and she wore a genuine smile on her face. She stood on her own in a mass of people doing what he had just seconds previously. She absorbed it all because she knew moments like that were rare. She knew sadness like no other, so she appreciated greatness and happiness like no other. She was still the girl with those legs and a tangled mess of hair but she took on more than that, because she was Peyton Sawyer, the tortured artist, loner cheerleader, riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch.

And she was right there, hands reaching out, collecting the falling paper like it was going to melt. And she was naïve and ingénue whilst having seen more of the world than anyone should have to at 17. And she loved him.

"Go! It's ok!" And he smiled at Brooke, because she knew, maybe she'd always known, that those two blondes were fated or star-crossed or whatever the hell it was that meant that she couldn't get in the way. She didn't want to anymore.

So he gave the brunette one last squeeze and walked over to his other girl. Well, she wasn't really his, and she certainly wasn't the "other", but timing had never been their thing.

She looked at him and couldn't find it in herself to be a bitch. It killed her to know that when all was said and done, after today things would go back to the way they were in her bedroom, but she put that aside for right now because this was bigger than her. She'd soldier on but right now she was a part of something incredible and he had been instrumental in that.

And it hurt and it was fresh, but he was worth it. She could stop being the girl who had become so dependent on him tomorrow, but right now they shared a dream together.

"Nice shot!" She finally shouted out and he smiled.

"Nice legs!" He replied quickly and she blushed. "Little chickeny!" And she laughed. Despite everything she laughed because it was _Lucas_ and she had to laugh.

They walked towards each other until he enveloped her. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her head there, savoring the smell of his cologne mixed with sweat and the feel of his arms. She took in the way that she fit so perfectly there, and the way he cradled the back of her head just so that they could be closer and she could feel safer. He in turn appreciated her soft skin and the way her hair smelt like vanilla and lavender. He relished in the fact that she was so delicate and gentle with her touch even though he knew she was holding on to him for dear life.

And then, much to his chagrin, she pulled away. He could see the glisten in her eyes. The love, respect, admiration and sorrow that she felt, and it killed him that he'd conflicted her. He wanted to fix her and make her better and be with her.

That last one shocked him, or at least he told himself it did. Honestly he had a voice telling him he'd known it all along.

But she couldn't keep falling back into his arms. She needed to breathe without him because now he knew the way she felt it was all too much. She didn't even think about the words that slipped past her lips before it was too late.

"I'll be seeing ya'."

She turns and walks away because she can't let him see the tear that meanders its way down her cheek and stops at the corner of her manufactured smile. She lets herself get enveloped by the crowd, joining in celebrations that suddenly feel hollow.

Because not only does she want him there when her dreams come true, but she wants him there when they don't. They aren't really dreams without him anyways.

By the time he's done reminiscing and starts calling her name she's gone, swallowed by a sea of people that then move to engulf him. He gets swept back up into the furor of the crowd but he's acutely aware that something is missing and he's acutely aware that that something is her.

But timing has never been their thing and last night she pushed and he pulled away, so she doesn't harbor any hope anymore.

He feels it now though, and he's pushing because she's his dream just as much as a state championship is.

But she's done pushing. In fact she's pulling away from him with all her might.

Once again they missed each other by a breath.

He's pretty sure that as soon as she turned away from him they lost each other.

And he doesn't know how long it's going to take this time until they try to find their way back.

That's if they find their way back at all.

* * *

The Monday after the championship game the town was still buzzing. It was as if nothing noteworthy or at all memorable had ever happened there before. All the good and bad that had previously plagued the population ceased to exist for the time being. There were no school shootings that shook the town, or almost championships from 18 years ago. The only gossip circulating was that of the Scott brothers and their magnificent win.

Well, almost everybody was caught up in the fever. Peyton, however, was abstaining. A stupid game didn't seem as important as avoiding Lucas at all costs.

She'd managed to do quite well so far. Her usual place next to him at lunch remained empty and she'd avoided him in the halls, ducking into the odd bathroom or closet so as to avoid him. They hadn't shared any classes so far that day so that hadn't been a problem.

Her next lesson was though. English. It was one class she shared with Lucas, along with Nathan, Haley, Brooke, Rachel. Skills and Mouth.

"Lucky me" was running through Peyton's mind as she rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed into the classroom. Fortunately she'd gotten there early enough to find an inconspicuous seat at the back of the room, hopefully away from everyone.

Peyton had decided it was time for a new group of friends, a reinvention as such. She'd lost Lucas and Brooke, both out of her love for the boy, Nathan was Lucas' brother and Haley was his best friend (she'd also been sort of sucked in to the whole "Team Brooke" side of things). There was Mouth, Skills, Junk and Fergie but they'd all grown up with Luke out on the Rivercourt, and Rachel (although she wasn't much of a friend to begin with) was Brooke's roommate.

She refused to get left behind because of a rift that she'd unintentionally created. Peyton couldn't keep as close to her friends because they all loved him too, and they loved him more, and so she'd be left out when it came to nights out and nights in, or start up games at the river court or lunch or whenever else they all were just together. Because she couldn't be with him anymore, she was far too proud, and she wouldn't make them choose because she'd just be hurt and rejected. She settled on taking herself out of the equation. People ended up better that way anyhow.

Brooke was the first of the group to enter the classroom after Peyton had settled into her corner. She eyed Peyton with a hint of sorrow in her glance and once more Peyton had to roll her eyes. Brooke wasn't proud of "winning" Lucas anymore and she honestly had wanted him to pull his head out of his ass long enough to take note of Peyton and how perfect she was for him. But he didn't notice or didn't care despite all of her pushing on Friday.

Slowly the rest of her class filed in, obscuring the gaze between the two ex-best friends.

Peyton wasn't sure if she was relieved or annoyed at that.

"What's up P. Sawyer? You ok?" Skills planted himself next to Peyton and she smiled, although it was rather unconvincing.

Inside she was dying of shame just a little bit.

She could hear the concern that laced his voice and she knew that there was a hint of pity thrown in there. Once again Peyton was conflicted. On the one hand she wanted to cry and let herself be comforted because she was so far from alright she was in another universe somewhere, but on the other hand she wanted to scream and say that she was above being looked at like she was terminal or like somebody had just killed her puppy.

She settled on watery look at Skills that told him all he needed to know.

She wasn't going to break down. She was stronger than that.

She wasn't going to reveal any more feelings. They'd gotten her in trouble enough.

She didn't, or couldn't, hear about Lucas. She had to cut him out so she could be a whole person again.

She couldn't deal with the small talk or a façade. It hurt her too much.

She had to form her own side now and she sure as hell wasn't going to let them all pick. They were all "Team Lucas" without even having a choice.

She wasn't going to fight for them. It wasn't her place to make them choose sides for her actions.

And she certainly was not ok.

When Skills looked at Peyton all he saw was a martyr. Not only had she given up the love she held for Lucas twice so that he could be with Brooke (although that hadn't ended well either time), but she had given up Lucas after trying to accept how she thought he felt about her. And now she was giving up her friends who she needed so much so that Lucas wouldn't be without them and they wouldn't be compromised. So when she turned to him with a million and one things running through her eyes informing him of what she couldn't say, all he could do was nod and send her back a look reassuring her that they all loved her. She just nodded and broke their gaze, returning to gazing out the window.

Skills stared at her head for a few more moments. He wanted to be there for her in every way that he could, but this was Peyton they were dealing with. She wouldn't talk about her rejection because it hurt her far too much and she had far too much pride and shame. The two people who could possibly comfort her weren't exactly viable options. She'd reverted back into her shell and there was no coaxing her out.

Lucas walked through the door just before the bell went. He caught Skills' reproachful gaze and tried his best not to feel guilty.

Looking at Peyton's profile shattered that resolve.

Over the few days Lucas had had since the game and Peyton's proclamation he hadn't really had much time to think and order his thoughts.

So the nights became the time when he did his thinking and so far it wasn't going so well. He kept on coming back to what he'd said to Skills before the Championship game.

"For a long time I thought we might be something more, it just never seemed to work out, you know? So at a certain point you just have to face the fact that…it's not meant to be."

His mind, like a vulture, insisted on circling that statement until he'd convinced himself it must be true. All that he'd been feeling at the game had merely been the effects of an adrenaline rush. Of course there were some residual feelings that he held for Peyton, but it was nothing more than his schoolboy fantasy had ever been. There was nothing more or nothing less on the romantic front. Of course he loved her, she was his friend, but that love was platonic. At the game, where tensions were running high and he wanted somebody to share his great moment with, she was there and she loved him so he was drawn to her.

That was his rationalization anyway.

In reality, when he saw the unapologetically apathetic look on her face and worse, in her eyes, he felt more worried than a friend would.

But Lucas Scott miraculously continued to have the capacity to convince himself otherwise.

Somehow he had managed to repress all of the feelings that had overcome him on Friday night when words had escaped him.

He had the words now and they went something like this:

Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer are not meant to be together. They aren't fated and it wasn't written in the stars. They may find their "happily ever afters" but not together.

They've missed each other by a whisper far too many times for anything else to be true.

* * *

**Ok! Hope you liked it!!**

**Please Review!**


	2. Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

Lucas Scott knew an ending when he saw one. He'd always had a soft spot for literature, so he knew that even the greatest works of fiction came to halt at some point. When you're young you are taught that every story has a beginning, middle and an end. Every chapter has to stop so the next one can begin. Every sentence has to be completed so that the journey can be explored beyond the bounds of one line. The exposition and the complications all lead up to one thing; a resolution.

And then it all ends.

Peyton Sawyer wanted an ending for them and, try as he might, she was stubborn enough to get one.

He had tried to catch her throughout the day to talk but she had always managed to duck away or to hide. As the bell rang, signalling both the end of English and the end of the school day he knew that it might be the last chance he ever got to have a conversation with her, then they'd go back to the way their relationship had been all that time ago. The loner and the popular kid moving in two totally separate circles.

Except now the roles were reversed, and Peyton didn't have her version of a "Haley" anymore, and that was sort of his fault too.

He wanted to confront her away from the crowds and the stares. Gossip spread like wildfire in this town and that was the last thing either of them needed.

She felt his presence behind her as she walked out to the parking lot. She was at least glad that he didn't want to cause a scene, but she had hoped he would have gotten the hint.

She didn't want to talk things out. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

When they were by her Comet she turned around and looked at him. It took all of her strength to hold his gaze as he scoured her soul for some form of emotion or explanation, but she wouldn't give him anything, not if she could help it.

He marvelled at her all over again. After all the pain and suffering and loneliness she was able to put on this brave, if stoic, face, because that was what Peyton Sawyer did when she was faced with adversity in her darkest hours. She reached inside herself and found a little bit more strength, took a deep breath, and soldiered on.

"Peyt-"

"Lucas. Don't." Peyton warned. "Please, just don't."

He was shocked by the brief display of emotion. It wasn't a weakness, but her voice gave away what was otherwise a very convincing detached front. The sound that escaped her lips was hoarse and a little deeper than usual. It wasn't purely sad though, but instead held a certain amount of disappointment and tiredness. The innocence and naivety which she had possessed at the game had been overcome by her weary realism and cynicism.

She was done with the charade. She wanted to have her voice back.

But he wasn't quite ready to give up.

"Peyt, I just wanted to ask if…"

"No Lucas!" She exclaimed loudly. A sarcastic laugh followed.

"I'm done."

Lucas didn't think the two syllables would affect him so much but he was almost paralysed. This was it, he realised. His lifelong fantasy was ending. Once upon a time it had been his dream to talk to the girl standing in front of him and there she was telling him that she couldn't do any of it anymore. He would never in a million years have seen himself as the boy who could affect Peyton Sawyer like he did, but that's the way it is with dreams; they never go the way you expect them to and they end before you have a chance to reach the destination.

"I'm sorry but I'm busy right now, and I'm busy for the foreseeable future. I think its best we just leave it there."

"Peyton, I just want to talk. I want to help, so just tell me what you need." Lucas tried to plead with her in some way.

She just shook her head in reply, he hadn't expected anything else.

"I need…" she took a sharp inhalation of breath, "I need to stop doing this, to stop falling back into you. I can't be this person anymore Luke. I'm sorry but I'm out."

She tore her eyes away from his. Those blue orbs were so full of pain and hurt because of what she was doing. She was taking away his role in her life, making her "hero" redundant. It broke her heart a little bit more to think of him being in even the slightest discomfort because of her actions but she couldn't just pretend that her confession had never happened. She'd tried to ignore it all before, the stolen glances, the lingering touches and butterflies, the hairs that stood on end when she heard his name, the soft glint in his eye that she wished was reserved for her, the innuendos that were shrugged off as friendly banter. She had felt all of it acutely, and all of it had been swiftly pushed under the rug.

But hiding the giant elephant in the room under a rug was not a feat she was willing to even try to accomplish. She'd buried too much crap for anything that huge to fit anymore. There was no blaming it on circumstance like she could in the library. There was no rationalization, only the truth.

Peyton Sawyer was in love with Lucas Scott.

She had to find a way to let that go.

So she broke the gaze she didn't have the strength to hold and felt more than a little bit ashamed of herself. She wondered if he heard her incoherent apology as she hurried into her car and drove off without mustering the courage to give him one parting glance.

He just stood in that same spot. Still paralysed and searching for the right words but coming up short.

Lucas Scott knew an ending when he saw one.

He just hoped it was the chapter that was finished and not the novel.

* * *

He'd taken to watching her again. He had watched as she had wandered around alone for a week or so, and then vultures had descended to pick at her carcass. He watched as she found a new support system, one she didn't care about so passionately and therefore a system of friends that couldn't hurt her like he had, like they all had by their resigned abandonment.

He watched as one of these acquaintances turned into something more. All he could do but hope it was some form of friends with benefits but he knew her better than that. She'd returned to the shallow type of relationship that she used to share with Nathan. She'd found a warm body to hold onto because sometimes it was good and now there really was nobody else.

He knew the guy by name only. Briton Landers was a kid who had fallen through the cracks a little bit. Nobody expected much from him and in return not much was offered. He wasn't a stoner but he certainly wasn't a stranger to getting high, he wasn't an idiot either, he just was too apathetic to care about anybody but himself. He was Nathan before Haley but without all the basketball, so there was no passion or driving force that was going to lead him anywhere. He stuck a finger up at the world purely because he could. He put himself first because he'd never met anybody that mattered to him more. He certainly wasn't the guy that somebody who was destined for greatness should be with, but there they were.

Lucas hadn't known his heart had been breaking until he saw the two of them flirting and kissing, but that image had broken it clean in two.

Peyton wasn't in the business of changing people. She wasn't like Haley in that respect. When she was with somebody who was imperfect she struggled to find it in herself to care. If they wanted to be selfish and treat her badly then that was on them, not on her. She hadn't stopped Nathan and now she wouldn't stop Briton.

She wasn't really sure how she had fallen into that relationship, but there they were. He filled an empty void that needed to be filled and he didn't ask questions. He didn't care about the gunshot and the stalker and the two dead moms. He saw the absence of her father as an opportunity, not a hindrance. She was never going to fall in love with him, she was sure of that much. He had brown eyes, not blue, and dark brown hair. He didn't know the difference between Tolstoy and Chekhov and he didn't care. He wasn't going to save her, but instead just keep her from falling that much further. That was all she needed to know.

She felt him watching her sometimes. It certainly didn't make life easier or more bearable, but there was a certain part of her that was calmed by the fact that he was still present. She had tried to break of any and all communication with the other blonde but the unspoken bond that they held was proving difficult to cut. She knew that he was probably disappointed in her for falling back into old habits but it was all she knew. Truth be told she was disappointed with herself, but that self deprecation had been her companion for a long time.

She was starting afresh to the best of her capacity. She had lost her life and so had to build up a new one. Her old friends only smiled and made pointless small talk with her when they were alone or when Lucas was absent. They no longer made the effort to meet up with each other out of school because talk was eventually bound to swerve on to blonde and something hilarious he had said the other day. She couldn't handle that. As the days wore on the small talk was traded in for brief hellos, and soon Peyton only gave and received nods and quick smiles from those who supposedly knew her better and cared for her more fiercely than anyone else.

But what could they do? They hadn't had the opportunity to be concerned about her.

Brooke shared a worried look with Haley as they both noticed Lucas' eyes wander with a look in them that was reserved for Peyton. They followed his gaze and saw her having a heated discussion with Briton about something…or nothing, the two seemed interchangeable.

Lucas' fist curled slightly under the table but Haley grabbed his balled hand in an attempt to relax him. His eyes diverted away from the scene which he no longer had the right to care about and caught Haley's stare. Slowly he unravelled his fingers in an attempt to placate the concern that flooded her eyes but it was to no avail and he knew that. They'd all seen through him a long time ago.

Truth be told, he felt a change for the worse in all of friends' demeanours since Peyton's departure, especially towards him. They had tried to not blame him for the situation that Peyton had prompted and then tried to rectify, but it was hard to point the finger at anybody else. Had her love been one sided then the worried looks from Brooke and Haley and resentful glares from the likes of Skills and Nathan couldn't fairly have been directed at him, but her love was reciprocated and they all knew that. Even Lucas on some level had resigned himself to the fact that Peyton Sawyer would forever hold a piece of his heart, even if he clouded and buried that knowledge with denial and avoidance.

There was no starting afresh for Lucas Scott. He was stuck with judgement from the people who had every right to judge him. Sometimes he envied the freedom Peyton had given herself by cutting ties.

Maybe that had been her plan all along.

But one look at her and those thoughts would be washed away. One look at the rough and lustful look in Briton's eyes when he stared at her made his heart ache for her.

Peyton deserved to be loved and cherished and adored, not drooled over like she was purely a piece of meat.

Peyton needed to be held and comforted and supported, not become another interchangeable face in a fickle crowd.

Peyton should have kept the friends and the lifestyle, but she wouldn't so that he could.

Her final act of sacrifice for him was giving him the dirty slate and claiming the clean one for herself.

But in finding a new circle of acquaintances Peyton had also taken away his greatest necessity.

She took away his right to care.

* * *

Peyton had avoided the party scene for a while now, but she would be lying if she said that the invitation to use up all the booze at Nathan's that night didn't sound enticing.

Pretty much everyone who would usually frequent parties in their senior class was going to be there. Her anonymity would remain intact and she could get wasted and forget her façade, if only for a little bit.

Her eyes had caught with Haley's across the living room and she smiled at her. In return she received a remorseful smile. It was the sort that she'd been getting for months from the group that she allowed to abandon her. They all felt guilty for letting her slip through the cracks, just not guilty enough to try and do anything about it. They all knew Peyton could out-stubborn every one them.

Peyton was welcome in their home, she knew that, but she couldn't help but feel out of place. Memories of the hours she spent here with Nathan came flooding back in, and the person she was then suddenly felt so familiar.

She felt her boyfriend's arms around her waist and an odd sense of déjà vu overcame her as he whispered something inappropriate and vulgar in her ear and she found herself laughing slightly in an attempt to stop the urge to slap him for his crudeness. She was back to the Peyton who couldn't care about herself or put herself first. She was stuck between being a hypocrite for being a part of something she otherwise would have looked down on and being just another high school girl.

And so when she was told there was an empty bedroom and felt herself being led there by her "warm body" she couldn't resist. What harm was it going to do anyway? What was one more night of meaningless sex with somebody who was undoubtedly going to peak in high school?

It was only when she heard the shouts of "Its Peyton having sex with Nathan!" that her head snapped around and she fought her way out of the cage that Briton's arms had formed. Her eyes spoke of horror and shame as she grabbed her top and rushed out the room, leaving Briton in there alone, although probably not for long.

"Turn it off!" She screamed as she pushed through the crowded living room furiously to get to the television. It was only when she'd managed to clamber to the front of the crowd that she raised her head to be greeted by two brunettes staring back from the screen as opposed to Nathan and herself.

Peyton hadn't known that a worse situation could arise than a tape showing her and Nathan being played at a party in front of all of her peers. Apparently God or fate or whoever the hell was up there had it in for her.

Brooke and Nathan together was certainly worse. The shame she could get over, but betrayal was a slightly more complicated emotion.

"Nobody will know." Nathan's voice flooded through the surround sound. This certainly wasn't the cinematic experience anybody involved had bargained on or wanted however.

Peyton's eyes searched around the room until they landed on the shameful pair that belonged to her. The bubbly brunette who couldn't keep off of the men that Peyton saw first. All of the resentment and jealousy that the blonde had ever had for her ex-best friend bubbled to the surface. She been cut out of Brooke's life because she kissed Lucas, but Brooke had _slept_ with Nathan. The hypocrisy was almost laughable had it not been so fresh. Peyton could still sometimes feel the stinging of her cheek from when she had been honest with Brooke about her feelings for Lucas.

Well, if she could slap Peyton for her honesty then surely a little retribution deserved to be served.

Brooke's eyes tried to plead with Peyton's unforgiving ones as the blonde closed in on her. She opened and closed her mouth to try to provide some reasoning, but no sound came out. It seemed fitting enough. Brooke had no excuse and she deserved what was coming to her, she knew that much.

Peyton raised her hand to hit Brooke.

But then, out of the corner of her eye she saw him. Suddenly she didn't want retribution, she just wanted to be held in his arms and comforted about everything.

And that thought was a lot scarier for her.

So she lowered her hand as Brooke flinched. She shook her head and looked disgusted with the brunette.

There was a bitch mumbled as Peyton walked away from the scene that was in process. The crowd in the sitting room parted for her as she made her way out of the house.

And the whispers began.

She didn't really expect to be followed out, but she thought maybe Brooke would try to apologize, or maybe Nathan. Maybe Haley would come out to commiserate on their poor choice of romantic partners. Maybe Briton would care enough to comfort her and offer her a ride home. Maybe not though.

When his gruff voice whispered her name she really hadn't expected it.

She stood in the middle of Nathan's drive as he stood at the door and for the first time since their last conversation she really looked at him.

His blue eyes were duller than she remembered them and his face a little more hollow. Even still he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. His stance held a true sense of remorse for actions that weren't even his own. She thought that maybe he felt some remorse for any pain she felt, or maybe for the person he had helped her become. She knew that there was only a small rational part of him that was fighting to keep some distance between them. The muscles in his neck twitched as he tried to stay in place.

This was torture for Lucas. He couldn't quite handle not being able to try to console her without fear. He was reduced to the nervous boy he was when he was first plunged into this world. He didn't know the social etiquette of this situation and he knew it wouldn't be intelligent for him to incur Peyton's wrath.

By just being there they had a conversation. He was asking her if she was going to be ok and telling her that this was never what he wanted for them and certainly not what he planned.

"I know." The words escaped her rose lips sadly. "I know."

Lucas nodded, an understanding having been reached between the two of them. She laid no blame and she didn't want him to either.

They were victims of circumstance and bad timing.

They always had been.

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Her head whipped around and she saw him standing with his hands in his pockets at the threshold of her room. She just rolled her eyes and looked back at the wall that had previously held her gaze.

"Look I know it doesn't mean much but I really am."

"Did you really hate me that much?" Peyton asked quietly. She didn't think she had the strength to fight.

"No! I didn't hate you, I just….I didn't care about anybody but myself." Nathan tried to explain as he walked around her bed and sat next to her.

"Well, it's a little late Nate. Two years in fact."

"Look I know! I was a jackass and this apology has been a long time coming. You deserved better than I could have given you back then. You _still_ deserve better than that Peyton."

Her head snapped up at that last comment and the not-so-subtle allusion to her current relationship.

"You know what Nate? You are really not in a position to _judge_ me right now." Peyton spat as she pushed off of the bed and walked to the wall before whipping around and facing her ex-boyfriend.

"I…I know…sorry."

"That's pretty redundant at the moment." Peyton informed him. Nathan looked at her trying to plead for some sort of understanding, but Peyton wasn't going to give that to him. "Nathan you haven't been _that_ guy in so long now. You haven't been an ass since Haley, but despite that at no point in the past two years did you think it appropriate to apologise. That sort of leads me to believe that you aren't all that sorry for being a crappy cheating ex-boyfriend, you're just sorry you got caught. Both of you are."

"You're right, I should have apologised a long time ago, I just thought that it was in the past and was forgotten about. I didn't want to open up old wounds and cause you anymore pain than I already had. Look I was a bastard and Brooke was drunk and it was a stupid mistake that meant nothing. I really am sorry." There was such sincerity in his voice that Peyton was forced to believe him.

"And if you don't think you can be friends anymore then I totally get that. I just thought you deserved that apology."

Peyton scoffed a little bit and Nathan eyed her curiously.

"Nate, we haven't really been _friends_ for a while now. I mean, when was the last time we even had a proper conversation about anything?"

He looked ashamed, and he was. He could blame the tape on him being an ass, but he prided himself on not being that person anymore and still he abandoned a friend. There were no excuses that were good enough for that. He could hear in Peyton's voice that she didn't blame him for the split, but a sea of guilt overcame him. She had been hurt and he had let her. When his heart had been broken by Haley it had been her shoulder he leaned on. She would bitch about Chris Keller and his wife with him when he needed that, and she would rub his back when he needed soothing. She would sit with him and talk about nothing of any consequence or she would listen as he rattled on about his issues. She never judged and she was always present when he needed her.

Nathan Scott resolved to change his ways for a woman once again.

This time though, he would become an unfailing friend to Peyton Sawyer.

She saw something shift in his eyes as she asked the question.

Suddenly she didn't feel so alone anymore.

"That's all going to change Sawyer."

She didn't realise how much she needed the other Scott brother to say those words, but as she melted into his arms she allowed herself to be vulnerable, because Nathan was different and she knew it. She wouldn't fall in love with him but she loved him all the same, and she let him love her.

It wouldn't ever heal her completely, but it was a start.

For the first time since her proclamation Peyton let herself cry and be consoled.

She knew that once more that she was supported and she realised that she had never needed something so much.

Well, she had never needed something other that Lucas so much.

* * *

An unfamiliar sound came from Peyton's window.

She knew the sounds of small rocks being thrown at the glass to gain her attention.

She knew what noise was made when a man fell through said window and shattered the glass.

She had heard impatient fingertips tap on it, or the near-silent hum that the curtain made as it flirted with the glass if there was a draught.

She wasn't so well acquainted with the sounds of eggs being thrown at it.

"Seriously?!" Peyton screamed as she ran out of her house and confronted the yin to her yang. "You are _egging_ my house?"

"Well are you going to give me my dress back? The man at the store said you had it! Described you down to your bony ass!" was the rasped reply.

Peyton and Brooke had always had a brutally honest and thoroughly tempestuous relationship. It seemed the only secrets that were kept between them always involved the Scott boys. When one came out it was bound to explode in their faces, and this was no exception.

"So go naked! Think of all the time you're going to save hooking up with someone else's boyfriend!" Peyton spat back, her wild her flying angrily, framing her betrayed face.

"Oh you are one to talk…you're one to talk!" Brooke mumbled poisonously back at the girl who she had once shared everything with. It seemed that sharing was the death of their relationship.

"Ok, so you said we were never friends? It never meant anything to you?" She threw her Posh mug at Peyton's feet and it shattered on the brick pavement. Inwardly Peyton cringed. That mug that she had slaved over was now resigned to the same fate as her friendship with Brooke. It was both irreplaceable and broken beyond repair.

"And you wanna know something else? Here's a picture of you and Lucas on _my_ birthday!" Peyton's eyes snapped to the picture of Peyton handing Lucas a bottle of cologne, the one he now wore, or at least used to wear as far as Peyton knew. "So who's the whore now?" Brooke accused.

Something inside the blonde snapped.

She had paid her penance for her indiscretions with Lucas, and it wasn't like she was betraying Brooke by being with him now. They had drifted so far apart they were on separate poles, and Brooke still had the audacity to call her a whore when she was the one whose sex tape with Nathan had just been discovered?

Brooke found herself on the ground in seconds, scratching and wrestling with Peyton on the grass. The slap that Brooke had narrowly missed out on the night before was now delivered as she struggled to push off Peyton. Brooke managed to roll on top of the fiery blonde, but only maintained her leverage for a second. She was thrown off only to find herself being pinned down once again.

Peyton was unrelenting as she let one single tear roll down her cheek as she fought to stay on top of Brooke. Her claws were out in more ways than one.

"God! Stop it!" Brooke screamed, tired and exasperated, using her forearms to push Peyton off of her and to attempt to try to scramble out from underneath her.

"Just let go!"

_Oh, if only I could that I would_

"You win Peyton! OK? You win!" Brooke cried.

Peyton finally pushed off of her ex-best friend and stood up, wiping the grass from her jeans and running her fingers through her tangled mess of hair. She scoffed a little at Brooke's concession. It isn't as though she had "won" very much as Brooke had so aptly stated.

"I'm the one with no prom dress, no boyfriend and a black eye on prom night. At least you have Briton!" Brooke reasoned.

Peyton let out a laugh. It wasn't a quiet or subtle scoff, or maniacal, but a truly haunting laugh. It was the laugh of a person who was so tired of the world that all she could do was laugh at her misfortunes and the idiocy of others, for if she didn't laugh she didn't think she could survive.

Brooke nearly stopped as the sound left the artist's lips. She's never heard something so hollow and heartbreaking.

"Why do you even care anymore?"

This made Peyton stop retreating and face the brunette.

"Why do I care?" She did not attempt to hide the incredulity that laced her voice. "Brooke, this has been one of the worst years of my life…" her voice quavered with pent up emotion that she could hardly care to contain anymore "…and I needed my_ best friend_ more than ever and you cut me out because I was _honest_ with you, and you were never,_ ever_ honest with me!"

"Peyton…" Brooke tried to reason with the insatiable guilt that flooded through her.

"You made fun of my mom's _death_ Brooke!" Another tide of shame washed over the brunette as she tried, and failed, to shrink farther away from the repercussions of her unforgivable actions. "You knew her!" The tears that had built up in Peyton's eyes began to spring free and roll down her cheeks, leaving silver trails glimmering in the cold sunlight, "You cried with me when she died! And now you use her as a _punchline_ in a joke meant to hurt me!"

Brooke's shoes had never looked so appealing.

"Ugh!" Peyton exclaimed as she tried to reign in her emotions. "It hurt…it did, but not anymore, because you and me, we're done. You're right, she's dead and as far as I'm concerned, so are you."

Brooke never knew how much it hurt for her counterpart to terminate their relationship. She suddenly was left wondering how Peyton had managed to get through it twice.

Brooke never quite understood how Peyton found it in herself to take the moral high ground and return her dress later that day.

Was she fooling herself to hope that she still cared?

* * *

"I'm not going." Peyton exhaled down the receiver.

"You're being a selfish bitch, you know that?" Came the reply from the phone.

"And you're being a bastard. What else is new?" Peyton bit back.

"Whatever, I'm still going to get some use of that hotel room whether you're there or not." Briton threatened and Peyton didn't doubt the truth in his words.

"Well tell you're hand I'm awfully jealous. Call me when you get your head out of your ass long enough to see that my world doesn't revolve around you. For that matter, neither does anybody else's." Peyton's retort angered Briton and she could hear him growl in his throat.

The dial tone she heard shortly afterwards confirmed her suspicions.

She couldn't help but think what Lucas would do if he were her escort and she was acting like this. He would probably coerce her into going with some charming words that instilled some form of hope and promise. She would trust that he would protect her from what the evening _could_ be and make it what it _should _be. He wouldn't want her to have any regrets.

But Lucas wasn't her date and now neither was Briton.

She was pretty sure she didn't care about the Briton part.

_

* * *

_

Who the hell could that be? Everyone is at prom!

The doorbell ringing at 8:30 on a Friday evening was odd enough usually, but on prom night it was almost unheard of.

Peyton trudged down the stairs in her flannel pyjama bottoms and a black tank top with her hair down, tickling her shoulders.

She opened the front door as she stifled a yawn and saw the blond hair of a boy she knew.

Her heart leapt a little bit, although her head convinced her she was hallucinating.

"Lucas?"

She wished more than anything he hadn't turned around, that the fantasy could be true for one more moment before she was brought back down to earth.

Unfortunately life seemed to have other plans.

Plans that included a psycho dressed in a tux who was supposed to be in prison.

"Hello Peyton." A lopsided, sadistic smirk graced his lips as he cocked his fist back.

Why didn't she go to prom again?

* * *

**A/N: Ok, so I know a lot of the scenes actually happened, but it made sense to put them in and alter them a little. I'm going on holiday for the next couple of weeks so won't be able to update but I'm going to try to smuggle my computer so that I can still write!**

**Also I want to thank everyone who reviewed! It really inspired me to write more and I appreciate it. This chapter is for you guys! I'm not totally happy with it but I rushed it through so that you'd get another installment before I jetted off.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own OTH or any of the characters or dialogue that I've taken!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! They make me want to write more!!!!!!!!!!**


	3. I Just Need Myself

Brooke gladly linked Mouth's arm with hers as she walked into the crowded gym that was full of twinkling lights and lavish artistic displays. The floral arrangements sat beautiful a top the impeccably dressed tables that scattered the room. Everything was tasteful and glamorous and all Brooke had ever dreamed it could be. She wanted to be proud of the masterpiece she had created-and it was her that created it- but somehow she couldn't enjoy it. There was a vital piece missing from the mix.

It wasn't difficult for her to figure out what it was.

Peyton.

They had been planning their perfect prom together since they were eight years old. Well, they had been planning Brooke's perfect prom since they were eight years old. It had all started when Peyton had grown distant and silent in the wake of her mother's death. She didn't socialise at school or answer questions. She just sat in silence, drawing scenes that should have been far too dark for her immature mind to have been able to conceive. Brooke was one of the few friends who stuck by her through it all and, after school, she would come to Peyton's house and they would sit and make scrapbooks about future significant events. Brooke claimed that she was there for the ideas but she needed Peyton for all of the artistic things, like cutting out pictures and gluing. They sat in Peyton's bedroom and decided on colour schemes and ornaments, planning each affair meticulously, looking in detail into hypothetical future occurrences so as to escape the crushing reality of the moments that they were living through.

It seemed over time that Peyton had kept up the routine of avoidance.

Stashed in her cupboard somewhere, Brooke had scrapbooks for her wedding, her Sweet Sixteen, graduation parties, first dates, Thanksgivings and any other half way conceivable events, but most importantly there was the scrapbook for Prom. It was bursting with everything an eight year old could dream of and, over time, it had been altered and added to.

The scrapbooks had lasted the time that their friendship had not.

Tonight was the night that those ten years of planning had gone into making. Brooke had secured all the glitter that she'd dreamed of and Peyton had crafted her perfect playlist; just mainstream enough to appease Brooke and just original enough to satisfy her musical needs.

But the wild-haired blonde was missing out on all of the sweat and imaginings that had gone into creating a legacy-and it was _their_ legacy. It wasn't just a dance, it was something that had bonded them all those years ago and made their friendship what it was. It had gotten Peyton through the loneliness of losing a mother and let her disappear into a fantastical world. It had given Brooke the opportunity to escape her emotionally and physically unavailable family and bond with her new one.

Their "planning" had brought the two seemingly opposite girls, one dark haired and one fair, into an impenetrable, everlasting friendship.

_Everlasting_.

Brooke nearly shed a tear at the thought. That was what they were supposed to have; a friendship that neither of them could survive without and neither of them should ever have to.

But now the blonde refused to care. Brooke had never stopped caring, even if she'd stopped wanting to.

And so the dance felt half empty, but fighting for Peyton was a lost cause, because she was too far gone. The tape that had aired the night before had been the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

The hushed whispers grew louder around the petite brunette and snapped her from her chain of thoughts as fingers began pointing and giggles started to escape lips. Even Mouth was looking at the abdomen of his date, unable to know how to react.

The word "whore" scrawled across Brooke's red satin dress brought a smile to her lips as she turned to the boy on her arm and excused herself from the Prom that had made her realise how inconsequential things were without her best friend. Peyton had left her mark quite literally, and it had been vengeful. The anger and upset over Brooke's actions, and the necessity to exact her revenge proved that Peyton was not in the least apathetic about their relationship.

So Brooke resolved to find the blonde who she would drag, kicking and screaming to the dance if she had to, just so the tortured, broody half of the duo could have an epiphany about their lost friendship too.

Because not all hope was gone, and Brooke didn't feel like she would be embarking on an uphill battle anymore to rebuild their closeness.

Peyton still cared, and anyone who knew Peyton knew that was more than enough to give a little faith.

* * *

She'd never wanted this for her best friend.

Brooke should have stayed away.

She shouldn't be a part of something so horrific. She wasn't jaded or cynical. She may have had a bitch of a mother and practically non-existent father, but she was cheery and _friendly_. The blonde took on the tormented role whilst the brunette filled the part of the idealist.

That optimism should have been nurtured and preserved, but now she feared it would be extinguished.

She should have stayed at the prom with all its bright lights and easy allure.

She should have left the dark basements and twisted psychos to Peyton. It was her niche after all.

But lo and behold, there they both were, tied and bound and hopeless.

Peyton wasn't quite sure how Brooke had ended up beside her. She was still groggy from the sedative and her mind had been preoccupied with planning on how to overcome her attacker. Each time an opportunity presented itself it was killed and prevented from reoccurring. She had tried to call Nathan but he hadn't picked up and when he rang her back she had been caught by her captor. She tried screaming when her gag was removed but her music, which had often blared from her household, overpowered her dry and weak voice. Never had she expected the brunette beside her to try and rescue her. To be fair it wasn't exactly the kicking and screaming Brooke had planned as she made her way over to the Sawyer household.

But Brooke had been overpowered by a much stronger man who was running on adrenaline.

At some point a knife had been added into the mix. Suddenly all of Peyton's loneliness and resentment was being channelled by their assailant and directed at Brooke.

But the two girls had a bond that had formed years ago, and whilst there were still deep wounds that they needed to heal together, that link had never been severed.

So they had a silent and undetectable conversation, where they planned their next attempt at escape once again.

In a blur the knife passed into Peyton's hand, the same hand that had just struck Brooke furiously across the cheek. It somehow made its way from her palm into the shoulder of her false half-brother, who stumbled, blinded temporarily by pain, and fell. Shouts and curses began stemming from his mouth as he tried to find the strength to get up again. Peyton loosened Brooke's ties before she had to try to escape.

She ran and flung herself into her room only to find the door being knocked down and herself being thrown haphazardly onto her bed. His hands ripped hungrily at the edges and waistband of her tracksuit as he tried to position himself over her whilst she struggled furiously underneath him. His eyes were full of lust and passion and a psychotic necessity to take away what little innocence Peyton had left. She writhed, trying to escape from what was sure to be her fate. She would be tainted permanently by a man who took what only she had the right to give.

When he fell off of her, courtesy of Brooke, she didn't have time to celebrate her narrow escape, because his plans still held the very real possibility of coming to fruition. The next five or so minutes she fought for her life and the life of the girl she had shared so much with. There was a blur of ornaments being thrown and bruises being formed, both physical and otherwise, cheer camp moves were revisited and blows were both given and received.

In the silence that followed, as the two girls regained their breath and kept a watchful eye on psycho Derek a sense of perspective descended. Once again no words were exchanged, but both girls knew that their friendship was far too important to ever be sacrificed. Everything they did affected the other in some way.

No apologies were offered or requested. No explanations or reasoning were necessary.

They weren't friends like before, they were _better_.

And when the sirens came they just shared a blanket and offered their statements as they watched an ambulance provide care for the man who had just attacked them.

Peyton thought that the police should have just left him to rot in a cell. Screw the fact that doctors can't discriminate when it comes to patients.

Brooke had to concur.

But there was a certain strength that both of them had found in each other, and a sense of dependency. So they did all they could to help the police and shared another look.

They had to get away from that house for a while.

And Brooke knew a party where all of their friends were at. It was a party that they'd been planning together since they were little girls.

And after going through a nightmare their evening deserved to end with a dream.

* * *

Hushed whispers and pointed stares weren't news to either Peyton or Brooke. They'd both been thrust unwillingly into the spotlight before. Previous attacks and rifts that tore at the seams of the school had all meant that gossip and rumours were usual companions for the girls.

But walking back into the school gym with torn clothes, bloodied and bruised, the eruption of stares and questions was unreal. That coupled with the fact that the newly appointed Prom Queen had just reappeared and was looking as though she'd just been dragged through a hedge backwards did not help the furore they were creating.

Brooke clenched onto Peyton's hand with an iron grip as they made their way through the hoards of people towards the stage. Peyton in return attached her spare hand onto Brooke's forearm, cringing at the mass that surrounded her. She looked at Brooke and they shared a deep breath before soldiering onwards. Once at the steps of the stage Brooke reluctantly began to walk away from Peyton to receive her crown, unsure of what had possessed her to go into a room full of watchful eyes to begin with.

But Peyton smiled at her, and though the grin was small and laced with pain it was still evident. They had beaten this man together, and they were there, supporting each other unconditionally, and that was the way things would continue on.

Brooke accepted her crown from uncertain adults and walked cautiously off of the stage to rejoin her blonde best friend.

The initial circle that crowded around the two drew back as Karen rushed forwards to ask the girls what had happened. She took them both in her arms and ushered them away from the loud and intrusive stare into a private hallway.

The only people that were close friends with the girls were Bevin and Skills. Nathan and Haley were in the "DW_not_I" car whilst Lucas was absent from the gym and Mouth and Rachel had disappeared off together. The two that had remained at the dance shared pointed looks and followed to join Karen in finding out what had caused the apparent reconciliation and distress of the best friends.

As Lucas returned to the gym from the library ten minutes later he noticed a different tone. What previously had felt light hearted and free had turned into a curious, oppressive quality. Lucas was found by his date, a girl he'd only met recently named Glenda. The look on her face perplexed him even more as she tried to find the right words to explain something she didn't really understand.

"You're friends with Brooke and Peyton right?" Glenda began.

Lucas wasn't sure how to respond. Brooke he would certainly say he was close with, Peyton, however, he didn't really know.

"Umm, yeah, I guess." Lucas answered.

"Ok, well then I guess you'd want to know that you just missed them walking in here looking as though their fight had reached an all time high, or low, or however guys might rate a cat fight." Lucas furrowed his brow. He hated that the girls were fighting, although to some extent he felt that Brooke's actions warranted it. In a way even he had been a little angry at the brunette for giving him so much crap about his cheating when she had actually slept with Nathan whilst he was with her best friend.

That and the fact that her actions had obviously hurt Peyton.

"But it was weird," Glenda continued, "They were holding onto each other, they looked scared, but scared _together_. Doesn't seem like the normal resolution for a blowout, but then again this is Tree Hill, when does anything _normal_ really happen?"

"You mean they look like they were getting on again?" Lucas was confused by what she meant. Those two were past any point of return, so they had both told him on multiple occasions.

"I mean they look like they couldn't deal without the other one there to support them. They looked so…..dependent."

"I thought you said it was a cat fight?"

"I have no idea what it was! That's just what people are saying, the rumour mill is already at work. Apparently Peyton wasn't going to show for prom so Brooke left to go get her. Everything else I've heard is gossip, even _that's_ gossip! All I know is that their clothes looked ripped, their hair out of place and they looked pretty bruised. Peyton had a bloody lip I think."

The mention of Peyton's particular pain made Lucas' ears perk up. He knew Brooke would never hurt Peyton physically, not really; maybe the odd slap here and there, but never enough for ripped dresses and bloody faces.

Suddenly he was urgently trying to scan the crowd for the two girls. "Where are they?"

"Your mom took them out to the hall I think. A couple of people followed."

"Listen, I know I'm ditching you a bit here, but do you mind if….."

"If you go and tend to your friends? Of course not! Listen, if it's easier I can catch a ride with someone else and you can stay here." Glenda offered. She'd had a good time that night, despite how cheesy and conventional that sounded, and she didn't mind ending her prom with Lucas Scott there.

But that didn't stop the rush of guilt that flooded through Lucas as he turned to his friend.

"Glenda, I…"

"Honestly, it's ok! They need you more, trust me! Anyway I had a great time tonight Lucas. Thank you for opening my eyes to the wonders of prom!" Glenda joked and Lucas let out a small laugh.

"Ok, well goodnight." Lucas leant in as they hugged, "See you on Monday I guess!"

"I want all the details!" Glenda replied sarcastically, smiling at her friend who once again laughed as he turned away.

And with that Lucas was pushing off through the crowd and out of the other side of the gym to find the two girls that he loved, although in different ways.

He rounded the corner and saw Karen holding Brooke's hand as they talked with Bevin placing a protective hand on her shoulder. Peyton had sunk to the floor, her back pressed against the wall as she looked intensely at an unimportant spot on the floor in front of her, her eyes welling up with tears that she tried to reel back in. Skills sat next to her as she laid her head on his shoulder and he placed his hand on her bent knee.

Lucas couldn't help feeling that that intimate spot beside Peyton should have been reserved for him.

Brooke's eyes settled on him first, her eyes brimming with newly formed tears. Karen followed Brooke's gaze and gave her son a hesitant nod, telling him that he should join their group. Brooke flung her arms around his neck and he cradled her body as he felt moisture seep onto his neck. He waited until Brooke was ready to pull away before trying to make sense of the scene before him, his eyes full of questions.

But it was Peyton that worried him the most, it was always Peyton. Despite the fact that his presence normally affected her she refused to move her eyes from the mundane spot of linoleum that she had walked over a million times

"Psycho Derek."

His breath caught in his throat.

She wasn't quite sure how she had found the words, but she knew he would understand; he always did. She couldn't look at him when that realisation dawned. He wasn't there, nobody was, he hadn't protected her, she had been hurt again, scarred again, she was alone and he hadn't thought to check up on her, or worse, he had thought to check up on her but decided against it. If it hadn't been for Brooke then she could be lying, raped or dead in her house, and nobody who cared about her would have stopped it.

She couldn't look at him when he decided that it was his fault.

She couldn't watch his heart break because he hadn't known intrinsically that something was wrong with her, that he wasn't the somebody that saved her anymore.

So when Peyton's cracked and tired voice uttered the name she immediately seized up and stared far more intently at the flecked grey flooring. Skills felt her leg tense and realised that she needed to get some sort of fresh air; just breathe on her own, without the pressure Lucas brought. He grabbed her hand and led her away from the huddle of others and took the blonde outside whilst the brunette talked things through and dealt with pain in her own way.

All Lucas wanted to do was run down the hall and throw Skills' arm off of Peyton and replace it with his own, taking the place which he had neglected recently, trying to atone for something he should have stopped.

But he didn't have that right anymore and he knew if he tried to force himself on Peyton he wouldn't make things better. He just had to trust somebody else with his girl until she was ready to turn to him to heal her.

He still couldn't help but wonder what they were doing as they sat outside for what seemed like the longest time.

No words were spoken.

No sorry glances were exchanged.

But despite sitting away from the boy Lucas had introduced her to he still found his way next to her and slipped his warm hand into her cold one.

It felt like the moment earlier on that day when Nathan had returned to her. In the space of what felt like a lifetime, but in reality was less than twelve hours, she had regained three of her lost friends and she knew a new era was dawning.

She was once again embarking on a new life, a fresh page, a leaf turned over.

And she'd started it with the bold decision of fight, not flight.

And she had her friends coming back stronger and more committed to her than ever.

And sure, she was scared, terrified even. But she sucked it up and soldiered on and her support base was slipping back.

The only thing missing was the boy she used to love.

The boy she always would love.

* * *

Brooke was with Lucas.

The original problem was yet to be solved.

Karen had offered her shelter and protection for that night so that Brooke wouldn't have to return to an empty house. She would have the security blanket she needed.

Of course, the offer had been extended to Peyton too, but she felt that it would be impossible to do it; to share his roof and to feel him safeguarding her at such close quarters, but to be so utterly separate from it.

The only reason she was lying on the pull out couch in their living room was because her house-her room- was a crime scene.

And Brooke had begged her to not leave her alone. Neither of the girls could handle the separation.

So she lay on the makeshift bed because she refused Lucas' bed when it was offered. The only thing worse than being in his house would have been being in his room. The room held so many memories.

That's where she had first discovered her best friend with him.

That's where they had found time for stolen, forbidden kisses.

That's where she had shared his bed.

That's where she had felt them getting so close, only to find them drifting so far apart.

That's where he stashed his "Peyton box" or so she'd been told.

That's where he had crafted himself into the man she loved.

That's where she had tried to be the woman he could love too.

That's where Brooke lay tonight; most probably with the arms of one of the boys they had shared wrapped around her waist, holding her protectively in a way that Peyton could pretend was reserved for her if she just didn't open her eyes to the scene.

She tried to be fine without them, without _both _of them.

But mysterious shapes played on the ceiling above her. Lights from the streets cast haunting shadows as the darkness flickered between dull and midnight black. Every time she closed her eyes the smallest sound would ensure that they snapped back open as her heart rattled her chest due to its furious beating. She was sure that that night everything had conspired to be louder and more startling, just to spite her in the way that the world often did. A police siren wailed on the other side of the town but to Peyton it was clear as day. Floorboards seemed to creak and the windows shook violently in their frames if they were brushed by even the gentlest of breezes.

She tried not to be a victim- to not _think_ like a victim- as her real brother had warned her, but her skin felt dirty and she couldn't help but subconsciously try to claw it off a little. Her mind flashed back to Derek's hands ghosting across her skin as she felt the air caress her shoulder, with life imitating her all too recent memories.

She hadn't even realized she was hyperventilating with tears streaming down her face.

She was too busy trying to rid her mind of his eyes, staring lecherously at her, whilst his body attempted to make his fantasy into a reality.

And suddenly it didn't matter that Lucas' room contained all the reminders of the "what ifs" they'd had in their relationship or the "what could have beens", because it had Lucas too, and she needed that.

She needed him.

On some level she always had.

She couldn't care less if he was holding Brooke, because he would hold her too, and whilst that wasn't everything she'd always wanted it was better than nothing at all.

She slowly opened his door to find Brooke lying on one side of the bed and Lucas on the other. In spite of everything her heart leapt a little bit.

But then the floor creaked and she was scared again.

She rushed to his side of the bed and slowly sat on it, trying to disturb him as little as possible. He looked so angelic sleeping there, his blonde hair sprawled messily on the pillow as his rose lips parted slightly, breathing in the comforting air that had always surrounded him. He was beautiful- she'd always thought so. She could never quite understand how he could care about a closed off, cynical, masochistic girl like herself, a girl who only ever shut him out or turned him down.

A stray hair had worked its way across his forehead and her long fingers gently brushed it away from his eyes, her hand running through his hair, as if to reassure her that he was there.

Or maybe the desired result was to wake him up.

Either way his eyes began to flutter open. His blue orbs, clouded with sleep, locked with her emerald ones that were red from crying and insomnia. He smiled at her and she almost saw a sparkle filter into his eyes. She smiled at him by way of apology for waking him up, and maybe for more as her eyes grew more watery. She tried to reign in her tears as she let out a quiet laugh, which he understood as embarrassment for having a particularly girly moment.

He thought she looked stunning.

Her hair was a mass of unruly, bed-head curls, impossible to tame. They were almost as headstrong and stubborn as she was. She sat in an old sweater that he had given her a long time ago, although he wasn't sure that she remembered that, and wore some dark sleep shorts, exposing her bruised and battered legs. The moonlight that filtered through the curtains behind her as the light framed her body, giving the impression of her having a halo.

He was almost one hundred per cent certain that she did.

Her hand slipped away from his head as she tried to regain some control of the tender situation, but his hand shot up to catch hers, holding it so tightly and so perfectly that she was certain she didn't ever want to let go.

"Do you mind if I…."

Lucas opened his arms to her at the sound of her quiet voice that cut through the comfortable silence.

She loved that she didn't have to have the strength to finish her question with him. They were never ones for long speeches or embellished statements. No word was ever wasted between them.

She just slipped into his grasp and held onto him for dear life.

And she felt safe again, and protected.

And that little-or large- piece of both of them that had been missing was there once more.

He pressed a gentle kiss into her hair and she savoured the warmth of his lips.

"I need you."

She hadn't meant for the thought to be vocalised, but she couldn't regret the fact that it had slipped out, because she did need him and she couldn't deny that.

The words were absorbed into his chest, into his heart, and a smile graced his lips as he brought her closer to him and she in turn held him a little tighter.

"I need you too."

It wasn't another proclamation of love, and Lucas didn't know if that was as close as they were going to get to properly exchanging those three little words, but for right now it was enough, and if this was as close to a relationship as they ever got then he could live with that, because he knew they had felt a way that very few people ever really got to feel.

Or at least he thought he could live with that, but with every moment that passed with her in his arms his acceptance of their situation deteriorated.

Because this was how it should always have been with them; he should be breathing in her scent whilst she held onto him and he protected her. The world outside didn't matter at that moment. The fact that Brooke was lying on the other side of the bed was forgotten.

When Peyton closed her eyes and no demons flashed in front of her, nothing haunted or startled her; she didn't have any moments of weakness. The only pressure she felt was that of Lucas' arms wrapped around her.

And she knew she should savour it, because come morning she would be out of his arms once more and the instant would be over, and who knew when the next one would come.

But she shouldn't have had to savour it. As clichéd as it sounded she wanted the moment to last forever.

After all she'd been through- all they'd _both_ been through- she thought that they deserved that much.

* * *

**A/N: I'm back again!!!! I hope you guys are all enjoying this story because I'm loving writing it for you! Sorry if you're getting annoyed at how much of the tv show I'm reusing but I find it quite interesting to think what lucas/peyton as a couple affected! I promise in the coming chapters there will be more original stuff going on (although there may still be references to events that happened in the show that happen in this story-just with different outcomes etc). I hope that I am providing an interesting/new enough take on the stuff that happened in the show that it doesn't matter too much!!!!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!! It makes the world go round and I reall appreciate your comments!**

**xxxxx**


	4. Live Like You Were Dying

She doesn't stay.

He's not sure why he's surprised anymore.

If he could repeat one truth for the rest of his existence, that would be it.

Every night they mold together under his cool cotton sheets, burning each other with fragile touches and soft breaths that ache to release secrets that they're afraid won't ever get voiced.

Because she doesn't stay; she never has, not after the initial night and certainly not after the tenth. It's not in her nature.

After that first night he was sure that he would wake up and she would be secure in his arms, but all he found was Brooke slowly rising as he fumbled with his alarm. Originally he thought maybe he'd dreamt it all, that the tender reconciliation had never occurred.

As soon as he'd realized it had happened his imagination went into overdrive as he panicked for her safety.

What if she'd been taken from his arms?

What if she was hurt?

What if, even when trying to protect her, he failed?

His fears were soon placated by Karen who had seen the blonde fly out of the house earlier that morning, claiming she needed to get some clothes. She'd see them at school.

It hadn't cross his mind that she'd chosen to go.

All he found himself doing that morning-and every morning since then-was wishing she hadn't left him, but it's what she does; it's what she always does.

She runs, flies, leaps and bounds through her life without ever bothering to look over her shoulder to see the people she leaves behind because by looking back she also sees the carnage that has always followed her. Some have managed to keep up or catch up with her but she seems to perpetually be out of his grasp, like he's stuck to a point that she sometimes crosses but never stays at long enough for him to keep her there.

He feels a little guilty for turning her "People always leave" mantra back on her, but he's bitter that they've been reduced to stolen moments every night where she sneaks into his room so that he can save her and she can be vulnerable because he's strong enough for the both of them. He can't help the voice that tells him that she's using him, and the stab of pain that that brings is only worsened when he sees her walking around school with Briton on her arm.

Apparently he didn't cheat on her at prom and he's sorry that she got attacked.

Lucas isn't quite sure why Briton's enough for Peyton but he's not.

Probably because he couldn't tell Peyton that he loved her when he had the chance and now she's with somebody who can't hurt her like he did…multiple times.

But still, he would never look at another girl if Peyton asked that of him, and he isn't just sorry she got attacked, he feels responsible for the fact that it happened and he'll never forgive himself for not being there when she needed him, for not protecting and saving her like he always vowed he would.

So he's bitter and guilty and a little bit heartbroken but he can never refuse her and deep down he knows he doesn't want to. If she hadn't come to him that first night he was sure he would have gone to her, would have begged her to try to let him atone for his neglect, to use him if needs be, because Peyton being there each night and fleeing each morning was better than her not being there at all.

And he knows the hypocrisy of his thoughts and the contradiction within them. It wasn't as though he'd never led her on and he'd certainly done his fair share of heartbreaking.

But every morning he when he wakes up he squeezes his eyes shut for just a few minutes so that he doesn't have to recognize the fact that once again she's fled, because he still _is_ surprised that she hasn't just resigned herself to the fact that even when the sun is up it's there, that this thing between them still exists, come night or day, no matter how stubborn she is because it's bigger than either him or her.

He's engineered to save her and she's engineered to let him.

He's programmed to be perpetually intrigued by her and she's programmed to let down her walls solely for him.

He's made to comfort her without words and she's made to only be half of a whole without him.

And despite their best efforts it seems to be written into their genetic code that they're meant to love each other, despite all the tragedy and bad timing and denial.

It's just the way of the world.

The way of _their _world.

lplplplplplplplplplplplplp

"Needs ass?"

"Assistance." The tired reply came from the rest of the group that had assembled at Karen's café.

Peyton had received a 911 text from Brooke informing her that she was needed at the café urgently. She was hesitant to step near the coffee shop as it was far from neutral ground, but Brooke asked her to be there and they had been inseparable since the attack. If Brooke said jump Peyton would ask how high and vice versa. They only separated at night and even then it was just a pretense as Peyton snuck into bed with her secret protector and her best friend after dark.

So she was the last of their pseudo-group to read the text that had been hastily typed by Mouth somewhere in Texas and apparently a brainstorm was about to begin as to what the next step was.

Lucas hadn't failed to notice that she stood shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot as she avoided his gaze religiously. He knew that this was one of the places that she had been evading since her somewhat self-imposed exile. It had been months since she'd had a sip of the coffee that she now nervously held tight in both hands, cradling the mug like she'd just received a little bit of home that she wasn't sure she owned anymore. Brooke had also picked up on the air that her best friend was exuding, but all she could do was share a worried glance and a shrug with Lucas before trying to distract the artist from the tension that everyone else seemed oblivious to.

So they argued over who should go and pick up their friend and who the best grouping might be. When Peyton caught the plotting look in Brooke's eye as she glanced between two blondes she suddenly felt panicked, searching for ideas to quell Brooke's evil (and somewhat genius) plan.

She was sure she'd never survive a road trip with just her and Lucas, and maybe Brooke playing mediator in their screwed up little love triangle.

"Road trip."

The suggestion had formed as a whispered thought but as soon as the two words were ushered from her lips the idea gathered momentum, Haley getting extremely excited by the prospect, rationalizing that they were seniors and they were heading their separate ways soon and when would they ever get the chance to do this again?

"You seem awfully excited considering Mouth could be in a lot of trouble." Lucas observed, somewhat seriously.

"Well I'm choosing to believe he's not!" Haley smiled optimistically as ever and Peyton found herself being infected by her positive outlook, suddenly growing more excited by the idea of spending some quality time with all of her closest companions. "Besides, it's Mouth! How much trouble could he be in?"

So they all decided to reconvene in an hour at Lucas' house and Peyton hurried back to her home, with Brooke on her arm, to create a great road mix before they went to pick up Rachel's car.

She hadn't expected to see her boyfriend sitting on the steps of her house waiting for her. Normally if she wasn't in he'd just leave and find something or someone else to play with and come back to Peyton later.

"I'll meet you inside." Brooke whispered into the blonde's ear as she unhooked her arm. As she walked past Briton she said a curt hello, only trying to be polite for Peyton despite the fact that she couldn't stand her best friend's taste in men sometimes. But then again if it wasn't Lucas then Brooke wouldn't think it was the right boy.

"What are you doing here?" Peyton asked after Brooke had closed the front door.

"I haven't seen you round as much lately." Briton stated as he stood up and brushed the dirt off of his jeans. It was true; since the attack Peyton had been spending more time with her old friends and less time with Briton, and after what Psycho Derek had tried to do to her she certainly wasn't in the right mindset for sex, or at least not meaningless the sex that always occurred between her and her boyfriend.

"So this is what? A booty call?" Peyton asked derisively and Briton chuckled under his breath a bit as he strode closer to his girlfriend.

"You, Miss Sawyer, have a bit of a one track mind. Did you consider that maybe I just wanted to spend some time with my girlfriend?"

Now it was Peyton's turn to laugh as she pulled away from the arm that Briton had placed on her hip. "There is _always_ an ulterior motive with you." Peyton pointed out, not bitterly or rudely, she hadn't really minded about his behavior before.

He grabbed her waist once more, although slightly more roughly this time as he grinded their hips together. Peyton couldn't help but be a bit revolted by this vulgar display of lust as his head descended towards her neck. She struggled to push back from him as his lips hungrily met her soft skin and his hands kept a firm grasp of her waist.

Something inside Peyton snapped a little bit as her breathing grew shallower and panic flooded her eyes, the memories of her fake brother's hands grasping at her filled her vision as she began to struggle in her boyfriend's embrace.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Briton spat out angrily as he finally received Peyton's signals and pushed her hips away, looking at her with resentment and disdain whilst Peyton regained her breath.

"I'm…I'm sorry, it's just…I'm not…I can't yet, you know? It's been less than a fortnight…I just….it's too soon."

Peyton stood on her front lawn looking about ten inches tall, her green eyes waterlogged and pleading for some sort of understanding. The sight was enough to break anyone's heart, even those made of the coldest stone.

"It's...ok." Briton managed to bite out, trying to repress the desire that plagued his body. He knew he was far from being a good boyfriend and that his and Peyton's relationship was unhealthy at the best of times, but he still wanted her and he did care for her, maybe not in the way that she deserved but he did the best he could. He wouldn't have wished her attack upon anyone so he tried his best to respect her.

That didn't mean he was happy about it, about any of it. He may not have been 100 per cent faithful to her but she was sleeping under Lucas Scott's roof at the moment, and everyone in Tree Hill knew of their sordid past, it didn't take a genius to decipher the hidden meaning behind their stolen glances. He was jealous and skeptical because he refused to be made a cuckold no matter what the situation.

Peyton was his and nobody else's.

"So how about we hang out today? You know, get back on track?"

Peyton looked at her shoes once more. She knew her boyfriend didn't handle rejection particularly gracefully and he certainly was the type to be consumed by the green eyed monster. They'd already had a few blow-ups due to her sleeping arrangements (if only he knew the half of it) and about her slow drifting back to her original circle of friends.

Her voice came out whispered and soft, trying to placate the beast whilst breaking bad news.

"I can't."

"Excuse me?" The somewhat strained reply came.

"I can't." Peyton returned a little more forcefully as she drew on her seemingly endless reserves of strength and dignity. "I'm leaving in like an hour."

"Where are you headed?" Briton did his best to try to reign his anger in but it was starting to run away from him.

"Honey Grove, Texas…with everyone"

"What in the hell is in Texas?" came the shouted reply. He thought at worst she'd be gone for a couple of hours, not a couple of days.

"Mouth. Mouth is in Texas."

"That scrawny kid who commentates at the Ravens games? You're driving all the way to Texas to pick up a guy who you aren't even friends with?"

Peyton's eyes suddenly darted up and caught Briton's gaze. He'd never seen her so full of fire, despite their numerous fights. Normally they'd argue over something banal and meaningless that she could care less about but he'd obviously struck a nerve. Well, if she was going to up and leave him then he'd sure as hell rile her up before she had the opportunity to go.

"We are friends you jackass." Peyton defended, truly believing in the bond that the two had formed when they had sprung his grandfather from the old folk's home to go go-karting.

"Yeah, because you guys have been hanging out a _whole_ bunch lately." The sarcastic retort issued from is mouth, "When was the last time you guys even talked?"

Peyton floundered there. It was true, it had been a while since their last meaningful conversation but that wasn't to say that they had stopped caring about each other. Their lack of friendship over the past few months had just been another unfortunate repercussion of a bad situation.

"It's not like that. Things just got complicated for a while." She justified, "And now everything has changed and you know it. You've seen me with Brooke and Nathan, Haley, Skills, Junk, Fergie, Bevin…"

"Lucas." Briton interrupted and once more Peyton's eyes darkened in anger.

"They were the people I cared about long before you came around."

"Yeah well it's your _caring_ about him that's the problem."

"So what? Now I can't be friends with him because of what you dictate? Do you really think I'm going to let you choose the people that I can hang around with?" The scorn and anger in Peyton's voice wasn't masked in the slightest. She refused to be a piece of meat that Briton could own.

"It's not the _hanging around_ I'm worried about. It's when you have to stay at a motel for the night on your little road trip. We all know you and Lucas and your track record with seedy motels. And you had an affair with him behind your best friend's back so what would stop you screwing around behind mine?" Briton shouted at Peyton and she flinched. His words cut a little closer to the core than any of his previous comments ever had. Normally she just let them roll of her back but Briton had aimed below the belt.

"I'm not an idiot Peyton." Briton's voice had dropped in level and he seemed more resigned. "I see the way he looks at you and you look at him, and I will not let you screw me over. I am your boyfriend, not that…bastard." Briton chuckled a bit at that last comment about Lucas and how fitting he felt it was.

"Leave." Peyton's voice was quiet and low but thoroughly menacing and full of rage.

"Oh come on Peyton."

"Get off of my lawn and out of my sight."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He took a step forward only to notice the blonde girl clenching and unclenching her fists, shaking visibly with pent up emotion.

"Leave right now or so help me God you will regret it."

He could call her a bitch and it wouldn't matter. He could say that she was being an idiot and she wouldn't care in the slightest. But the fact that she had just called Lucas, _her_ wonderful Lucas, a bastard was unforgivable to her. How he could be associated with something that could have such negative connotations and then Briton could laugh at it like it was some form of a joke was beyond even Peyton's sphere of understanding. Lucas' lack of a father was something Peyton could recognize, what with the fact that she had lost her mother, and it had caused him and Karen so much pain that neither of them deserved it wasn't right on any level to laugh at him like he was some pitiable, regrettable, embarrassing secret that should have been swept under the rug a long time ago.

"You know what? Have fun on your little trip. Try not to whore yourself up too much." Briton brushed past her as Peyton kept her eyes fixed on the steps that led to her porch so as to stop herself hitting her boyfriend as he walked away from her and probably into some other girl's bed.

It sort of worried her that she wasn't at all worried about how little she cared.

Maybe it was because in all honesty she had never felt little more than apathy towards her so called boyfriend.

Maybe it was because the attack had rendered her incapable of feeling anything towards anyone.

Or maybe it was because while Briton walked away from her she knew she'd be walking towards Lucas in a little under an hour.

Now _there_ was something she cared about.

lplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplp

"Lucas, Stay cool forever! Love Haley" Nathan cooed sarcastically from his seat in the Denali only to receive a swatting fist from his wife.

"Shut up!" Came the remark as a flush of pink filtered through onto Haley's cheek.

It took a while for Peyton to realize that she was smiling at the scene that lay in front, or rather behind her. She was in a car with the people she loved and respected most in the world and the _person_ she loved and sometimes respected most in the world and it was a little bit like perfection. She could pretend for a while that the events of the last few months didn't matter, and maybe they didn't, just maybe their group could be whole again, could be better than before.

"Ok, Peyton wrote in someone's yearbook…wait for it… _Peyton Sawyer_." Nathan said as he laughed at the concise words of his ex-girlfriend.

"Oh come on! When was that? Like three, four years ago? I hardly knew half of you guys then!" Peyton rationalized as Skills just shook his head in faux-disdain.

"That's cold dawg, no matter who you was signing it for."

Brooke shoved the boy in the shoulder as the laughter died down a little. Lucas had stayed rather quiet for the majority of the prior thirty seconds which had failed to register with anyone but Peyton.

But then again she still wasn't sure that a time would come when she didn't notice every tiny nuance about him. She doubted it.

"Whose yearbook is it?" Brooke inquired as she snatched it from Nathan's hands, him dropping his jaw in mock-horror at Brooke's rude grabbing. The brunette's eyes scanned the pages for other messages that were addressed to the owner of that particular blue hardback. It didn't take long for her to find the name and she immediately regretted asking the question.

"Oh."

It was a pathetic thing to utter as any way that this turned out was sure to end catastrophically. Either she'd lie about whose it was and Peyton would read that lie like a book, knowing what her best friend was trying to avoid, or she would acknowledge the blue eyed blonde haired boy and some nervous laughter and uncomfortable silence was bound to ensue.

"New game?" She offered weakly but Skills was having none of it, once more taking the book without permission.

"Lucas Scott." His voice tailed off as he finished "freshman year."

The temperature in the car seemed to rise exponentially as Peyton eyes whipped back around to the road. She slid down in her seat and took a deep breath, trying to reconcile her thoughts. Of course it was Lucas' yearbook; with her luck she shouldn't have expected anything less. Of course she'd written something unfeeling and cold, she hadn't known him them, or at the very least she hadn't known that she'd known him them. She didn't know that a few years down the line she'd be sat in a car with him whilst they weren't really anything to each other during the day and were a source of comfort and home to each other by night. If she did she would have written something about how much she didn't want things to ever be that strained between them, but at the same time she'd sort of learnt to accept the inevitability of it all, of them. She'd write about how she didn't mean to capture him in her contradictions and the inconsistencies of their relationship.

She'd tell him that she used to watch him too. The bastard brother playing alone on the River Court whilst she hid crying a little ways down the bank of the water, finding hope in the strength he mustered and promise in his skill, in his own personal form of art.

She'd say she was sorry that she loved him the way she did. She'd say that she hated him a little bit for not always loving her back.

She'd tell him she could never hate him really. She'd tell him that she'd wanted to, when he slept with Nikki, when he chose Brooke over her, twice, when he said "Oh", when he didn't fight for their friendship, even when he took her in his arms and told her it was going to be ok.

She wanted to hate him because whenever he touched her, physically or emotionally, he'd inspire her and make her shed some of her tougher layers and make her think that they were going to make things right in the world.

Then the moment would pass and she would be alone again and hurt again.

But she didn't know that four years ago, and there she was wishing the seat would swallow her up or Texas would just be there already. Maybe if she closed her eyes and wished hard enough….

"Lucas. You know you want me. Taylor James." Brooke to the rescue. Thank god for that bubbly, chirpy brunette. Peyton sat a little higher in her chair, daring a look around the passengers of the car behind her, skillfully avoiding looking at Lucas for too long. She noticed how their worried expressions easily transformed into relaxed faces as a sense of an excited, juvenile equilibrium returned to the vehicle

Haley's ears had once again perked up as she shot a glare at Brooke for dragging her sister's escapades into their little game.

"Damn, I wonder what she wrote in Nathan's yearbook." His voice had started quietly, but grew in strength and confidence. He refused to let himself be sidelined from their own micro-society because of awkwardness but at the same time he wanted her to be included, more so than he wanted the same thing for himself. So he tried to lighten the mood with a cheeky smirk and some quick wit, giving the final green light for the banter of the car to officially resume despite feeling a stab of pain in his heart that he knew was of his own making.

He didn't mean to catch eyes with her as they all laughed and made merry but he did. He chose to believe they had a sort of magnetism that drew one to the other whilst they constantly had the capacity to repel if put together in the wrong situation. It seemed that love was their North and South however, both unifying and pulling them apart.

Her gaze was sorrowful and full of months of unkempt emotions. He tried to smile reassuringly but couldn't quite muster the strength because he knew that at that moment they were both thinking precisely the same thing.

By the looks of things it was only _Peyton Sawyer _that was going to be signed in his Senior yearbook too.

lplplplplplplplplplplplplp

"I don't want just your name in my yearbook again."

They'd made it, finally, to Honey Grove the previous day and sprung Mouth from jail for sleeping in the park. He was fine; in fact he'd made some friends in prison. The car on the other hand still needed a little work.

They were stranded overnight, with nothing really to do and Chris Keller for company.

So they'd crashed Prom. All of them together had made their way to the gym hall that evening, even the older Chris, and danced until the early hours. Peyton wasn't quite sure what time it was when she decided that it would be a good idea to head back to Keller's tour bus but, struck by some moment of insanity, that was where she had made her way. And they sat, and they talked, really _talked _about everything. And she told him how pathetic she was and he told her that he couldn't judge because he'd fallen in _love_ with a married woman and nearly broken up a marriage. He knew he was a jackass and he was trying to change, apparently the group of people he'd picked up on the side of the road in Texas weren't conducive to said metamorphosis.

She told him about her pointless relationship, about her stalker, about her mom, her dad, about Derek, about Jake, about _Lucas_. She told him she was unlovable.

He said he didn't think that was the case, not at all. He said he thought people loved her a hell of a lot, maybe too much, who knows? Sometimes shit just happens.

And she smiled coyly and thanked him for his kind words and he nodded his head modestly and said "Now you owe me a sexual favor Sawyer."

He was lucky all he got was a pillow to the head.

He talked about how his dad left when he was little and his mom drank herself into a stupor every night. They never had enough money so he would go to school in clothes from Tree Hill's thrift store and get picked on and bullied for being lanky and unattractive. He'd never felt right, never deserving enough to be doing what he was doing, so he chose to be overly arrogant as opposed to overly vulnerable.

Her reply was that God certainly had a field day in Tree Hill when he was dishing out the drama on its inhabitants. Then she put a hand on his back and they smiled at each other without innuendo or plotting. They'd found some sort of common ground that night and Peyton was left pondering as she sat in the Sweetest Town in Texas' gazebo on the bench.

Her head whipped around at the sound of the intruding voice to find Lucas walking up to lean on one of the white pillars, hesitant about joining her on the bench, but confident enough to be talking to her whilst the sun was up.

"I don't want that for us Peyton." His voice was quieter this time, more subdued. It was as though he suddenly wasn't sure of his whole belief system, that the foundation of his ideals had been shaken and he was trying hopelessly to do some sort of damage control.

"Neither do I." Her voice was almost silent but he heard her loud and clear. He walked forward and sat next to her on the wooden seat and lay his hand subtly over her, sending warmth up both of their arms, warmth that they had only ever felt with each other.

And they just sat, each lost in their own thoughts and in each other.

"You know you said you used to watch me?" Lucas snorted a little at her choice of topic. Of course it wasn't conventional, when had they ever been? He nodded and smiled in reply before she continued, "Well I saw you about too. After my mom died my place was under the bridge, but Brooke knew about it there, so I had to find a spot where I could be alone, just for a little while. I used to head down to the river and just walk along the bank, trying to feel something, _anything_ but the numbness that sort of just overtook me. Sometimes I'd see you playing out on the Rivercourt, on your own or with Skills or Junk and Fergie, sometimes Mouth would be there, or Jimmy, even Keith, but most of the time it was just you. I don't think even they realized how much of your life you spent out on that court, but I like to think that I did, that I do. You were the fatherless, abandoned boy whose solace came in the form of an orange ball and a hoop. I used to think it gave you strength; that _it_ was a bit like your father." Peyton laughed at how ridiculous she sounded but Lucas' thumb just caressed the side of her hand, urging her to go on. "Does that even make sense? It had rules and disciplines that it taught you, but it was something that you loved so vehemently and enjoyed so strongly even when you wanted to find something else to believe in it drew you back as though you were tethered to it. It was your own religion, it converted me, _you _converted me. Seeing you soar through the air and play for the game and not for the celebrity, that sort of inspired me. You made me love the game that before I had thought was gratuitous and self-indulgent. That was how Dan taught Nathan to play it; for himself, but you? You played it for the sport, like basketball wasn't a tool you employed but you were a tool employed by it."

And that was it. She was perfect and what she'd just said was perfect and she deserved so much more than he could ever offer.

"And Brooke…" she laughed a little "Brooke always thought I was a cheerleader because my mom was one, and my best friend was one, but I think a part of it was hope, hope to see the game played like you played it. To be able to say years down the line to my children and grandchildren that there's so much beauty in anything if you just have a little faith, that anyone can inspire even if they've had a lifetime of bad things happen to them and they don't know the impact that they're having."

"Wow." It seemed an anticlimactic thing to remark but after that loving spiel that just fell from Peyton's lips he found words hard to come by. "I didn't…I never knew you were there." Lucas' eyes had filled with tears for the girl who he knew, who he thought he had lost.

"Maybe you didn't watch me as much as you claimed to." Peyton smiled and Lucas chuckled as they fell back into their old habits of friendship.

He found himself overtaken with the desire to kiss her, but they'd done the sneaking around and cheating thing before and it hadn't ended well. He didn't want to put her through that again.

"How's Briton?" The smile fell from her face almost immediately as she registered his question. She couldn't actually believe he was asking her that, although she wasn't sure why she was quite so incredulous.

"An ass." Peyton replied honestly and curtly, not knowing whether to take offence or compliment out of the fact that Lucas was interested.

"So why are you with him?"

He knew as soon as the bitter tone fell from his lips and the words formed on his tongue that he had overstepped. He had no right to dictate to her and the affection that had been felt mere moments before vanished. Peyton retracted her hand and pushed up off of the bench to walk to the railing of the gazebo, trying to control the confusion and anger in her eyes and she steadied her breathing, attempting to not make a scene with him.

He hated her silence and he could see her back heaving in measured breaths. She was rapidly hiding away her vulnerability once more and he didn't want that, all he wanted was some form of conceivable relationship between the two of them.

"Peyton? Are you…"

"I swear to god, if you ask me if I'm ok…" The threat died on her lips but the intent was still there as she whispered the words harshly.

"Alright." Lucas said, trying to do some sort of damage control.

The way she whipped around and stared at him led him to believe that it wasn't working.

"Alright? Seriously Lucas? Alright? That's all you have to say to me? After all the crap we've been through you think some half-assed agreement will cut it?" Her sudden change in demeanor threw him off as he tried to find the words, only to discover that she found hem before him.

"You know what; you have no right to ask me questions like that! You have absolutely no right to be bitter about the fact that I have a boyfriend. I can be with who I choose!"

"Who you choose?" Lucas asked incredulously, standing from the bench "How did you pick him Peyton? Did you spin a bottle? Or better yet, game of truth or dare?"

"No. I learnt the hard way the sort of guys that come from playing games like that." Peyton spat back at them, trying not to revel in the memory of their first kiss and instead focusing on her blinding anger towards Lucas and herself and anyone else who was stupid enough to get in her way.

"Oh yeah, you're right, because you're choosing such a keeper now." Lucas cooed sarcastically. "A guy who acts like he owns you, doesn't respect you at all, a guy who cheats…"

"You cheat too, remember?" Peyton exclaimed over Lucas' list of flaws. "Or is that something you repress so that it won't impede your invaluable self worth?"

Lucas shrugged off the comment, too focused on his next move in the conversation or argument or whatever the hell it was.

"Are you seriously getting angry at me for telling you that I don't like the guy? I didn't tell you not to be with him, I'm just offering up my opinion, one that apparently you agree with. The guy is an ass Peyton!"

"I'm getting angry at you because you think I'll care what you say!"

"Do you?"

It took a moment for Peyton to catch her breath as Lucas interrupted her. She almost did a double take as she registered his question. Her entire being screamed _Yes!_ in answer but her stubbornness and anger and tiredness won through as she ignored his profound little question.

"I'm getting angry at you because you don't have the right to even try make me care! You gave that up Lucas!" she screamed back at him, unaware or just too consumed to notice that Brooke was looking worriedly on the scene with Haley as Nathan whispered something about intervening. The two blonde's voices continued to rise though as they aired their dirty laundry.

"I gave up that right by not telling you that I was in love with you? So because I didn't reciprocate some feelings that you thought you had because I'd been the only one there for you a few times and suddenly it's my fault that we aren't friends anymore? I didn't want that Peyton! I never wanted that! But you couldn't handle an awkward situation so you ran away from our friendship. You stole my right to care but don't you dare accuse me of giving it up!" Lucas exclaimed, knowing that half of what he was saying, if not more, was bullshit and he was devastating her with every word.

Her body quivered as her eyes dropped to the ground. She hadn't anticipated how much his reiteration of the fact that he didn't love her was going to hurt. She had no idea that him throwing back events that happened months ago would cut her so deeply, but they did.

"If you were my friend, now or then or whenever, you would put up with my boyfriend because that's what I asked. If you were my friend you wouldn't get upset and _bitter_ that I was with somebody who wasn't good enough for me. Why do you get to dictate that? Who is good enough for me Lucas? What about somebody like Skills, or Mouth, what about Jake? Would you be happier if I went out with somebody you deemed worthy? Or would you still be just as pissed, just as incredulous that I stopped letting myself pine over you?"

His mouth hung agape. He had no answer to her. As per usual she was right. Even if she was with somebody who was good or kind he wouldn't be happy. In some ways it would be worse because he would have no grounds for calling her back to him when he felt like it. As it was he had some sort of moral obligation to try to protect and dissuade her from Briton, but if she had chosen somebody else, somebody worthy, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. He would just be jealous and bitter and an ass for thinking that she was his primarily and somebody else's secondarily.

"Brooke and I are moving into the apartment when we get back." Peyton said, knowing he would understand the connotations of them moving out. No longer would they have their nighttime rendezvous.

"Peyton…"

"Lucas I don't want us to go back the way things were before junior year." Her voice was heartbreaking, _she_ was heartbreaking. Her hair was dangling wildly over her shoulders and for the first time he saw her as broken. He'd never known her to run out of strength nor had he thought she ever would, but as she stood there she looked completely finished. No doubt tomorrow, or maybe even in a few minutes, she'd put on a brave face, but the cracks were beginning to show through now. She was at the end of her tether and it was him that had put her there. A lone tear meandered down her face as a gust of wind pushed her hair to the side and her arms wrapped insecurely around her waist. "I don't want that, but I don't think things can go back to us being friends either. We've both made too many mistakes and at this point, despite what both of us may try and do I don't think it'll be enough."

He wanted to cry and scream and say that that wasn't what was meant to come out of this conversation, but for being a man usually so good with words they were all lost on her.

"I'm tired Luke."

And if she could repeat one truth that would be it, and it broke his heart a little bit more to know that he had contributed to her fatigue.

She brushed past him and walked down the steps of the gazebo to be engulfed by Brooke and then by Nathan who shepherded her into the car, Skills already in the driver's seat. Haley stood there looking at him with an unintelligible mixture of emotions running through her eyes; sorrow, anger, pity, regret, love. Mouth stood with her as they both reached out to their old friend, finding themselves lost, both disagreeing with his actions and lamenting the outcome of his relationship with Peyton.

"I think it's over Hales." He whispered quietly and she felt a small, sarcastic smile grace her lips as she looked to where her husband and friend looked after the other blonde.

"Oh come on Lucas, you two are never over. What ever happened to all that fate crap you spew?" Haley nudged him in the side but was unable to summon a smile from her best friend.

"Listen, maybe you just aren't meant to be right now. Trust me when I say with you two its sort of inevitable. Sometimes it just takes a while to get there."

He wanted to dispute her assumption that he wanted to be with her, but there was little point as they both knew it would be a lie.

And maybe there was such a thing as fate and destiny and "the One", he just needed to prove that to her. He had some idea where to start.

lplplplplplplplplplplplplp

Lucas sat in his room with his laptop perched on his desk, his fingers idly tapping the keyboard, searching for the words that had been lost on him two days ago in Texas.

"Well here goes nothing." he whispered to nobody in particular.

_An Unkindness of Ravens_

He was going to write his life, their lives, and tell her what he should have said all that time ago at the game.

The cursor flashed on his screen as his fingers hovered in anticipation over the keyboard.

_Chapter 1_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**A/N Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to get this out! I do have good reason though I swear. I go to boarding school in England and the internet at school has a filter which means that it won't let me onto FanFiction so I can't really update very easily, which means during school time posts will become a bit less frequent! I'm so sorry for that and am trying to find some sort of way to bypass the system so please bear with me.**

**Anyways here's the next installment, hope you like it. I thought I'd have finished the story by now but it turns out I'm hardly half way through!**

**Please REVIEW! Any form of criticism is appreciated!!! Comments = LOVE**


	5. Don't Change Your Plans

She was the first one there.

In some ways she always was.

He didn't know how she knew to be at the hospital but there she was, running in, wild, tangled mess of hair flying behind her as her eyes furiously scanned the grey hospital waiting room. She was in a pair of old jeans that were worn through at the knee and splattered with still fresh paint and a Beatles emblem was displayed across her chest. He'd always thought angels dressed in white.

He choked back a sob as green eyes finally met his blue. Veins of red were strung through the whites of his orbs as he saw tears filter into hers.

Then there was that one lone tear meandering its way down her cheek, always that single tear leaving its goddamn silver trail glistening in the synthetic lights.

And all of a sudden the flashing lights and hubbub of the ICU waiting room melted away. There was just her and him, once more connected by tragedy. They stood perfectly still just staring at each other, him looking to her for guidance and her looking at him in sorrow and with a sense of helplessness. If only she knew how the colour returned to his vision when she entered the room. Everything that was blurred by tears and distress snapped back into focus as she had come into his sight.

Then the moment of silence broke and she ran towards him, not breaking eye contact until her arms slipped around his waist and his arms wrapped around her shoulders, his hand cradling the back of her head as it nestled into his chest. The scent of vanilla and lavender once more entered his nostrils as he buried his face in her curls, trying to find the warmth he always found in her.

He found it alright.

The feeling of numbness drifted away from him and his senses heightened with her in his arms. All of the pain came flooding in past his defences and all of the comfort she exuded did as well.

He found his legs buckling from underneath him and she intrinsically knew what was happening. She guided him to a chair, never letting go of his embrace, at least not until he was ready. She'd never really seen him cry. He'd become so stoic and unfeeling after Keith's death. She'd heard from Brooke about the way he'd cut himself off from everyone. He'd never come and seen her in the hospital, not that she was expecting that of him considering. Even when she came to the wake he could offer her little more than a nod before she went to talk to Karen.

Maybe he'd blamed her a little bit, and maybe he couldn't stand to look at her as she blamed herself.

In retrospect he thinks that that may have been the beginning of the end for him and Brooke, because he blamed the _brunette_ more than the he blamed _blonde_.

But now it all faded into dust, because Jimmy only murdered himself and Karen was lying in a hospital bed, dying potentially, with a child that was impeding her health and Peyton was all-encompassing and had been there, probably sat in the waiting room he was breaking down in, probably crying into her father's shoulder as he cried into hers, when her mother died.

She understood, without saying a word she understood all there was left of him to understand.

He was pretty sure he'd been incomplete since the time he'd said "Oh", it was only now coming to light that more of him was missing than he'd previously thought and he had no defence.

Once again he was helpless, stuck in a situation that he couldn't affect. He was always too late or too early or too passionate or too passive.

When push came to shove he was never _just enough_.

"I am so sorry." Her voice was whispered, he almost thought he missed it, in fact anybody else would have believed she'd said nothing at all, but he felt her tears through his shirt and his heart heard her apology. "God Lucas, I am so, so sorry."

She wasn't quite sure why Deb had called her first, before Haley or Nathan or Brooke. Out of all of the children Deb was probably the least close to Peyton, but all the same she was the first to know, the first to be burdened, the first to be agonised, the first to be _there_.

At least for now, and at least for little while, she was enough. She loved Karen, the woman had been a surrogate when she needed her, and God knows she loved Lucas despite her best efforts. She knew what he needed, maybe even more so than Haley did. Haley would be buzzing around, talking, mothering, doing _anything_ but sitting still. Undoubtedly Nathan would be trying to placate her, she was heavily pregnant after all and he was petrified for her and his son the majority of the time. Skills would laugh and joke and try to make light of a situation that couldn't be lightened. Brooke would sit, in shock, saying too much or nothing at all. She would cry and, not through lack of trying, wouldn't be strong enough to hold both Lucas and herself together. Peyton on the other hand knew that he needed to have his hand held subtly; she knew he needed somebody to tell the doctor to interpret their diagnosis, she knew that he needed to hear the sweet mumblings about nothing and everything, to know that he was not alone but still have moments of quiet reflection.

He didn't know how long they sat there holding each other, his wet eyes soaking through her hair and mixing with her tears. When they broke apart they just stared at each other a little longer than was normal and tried to remember how to breathe. He couldn't help but think it was easier for him as her fingers interlinked with his.

When Haley came bursting through the doors it hardly registered, just as he didn't notice Nathan running worriedly in behind her, telling her to slow down before she had an aneurism. In any normal situation he would have feigned surprise at the fact Nate knew such a long word, earning him some sort of rebuke from his best friend and a playful punch in the arm from his brother.

He did nothing.

He sat.

He completely missed Mouth and Brooke walking in and settling in an unusually quiet manner beside him, nor did he see Skills come in followed by Junk and Fergie with Bevin clutching onto his hand. He hadn't realised Deb had entered with a dozen coffees for everyone to drink as they sat and waited and prayed. The only thing he was conscious of was the warmth of her hand and her fingers dancing softly over the material on his back and the fact that his mother was here and he feared it was entirely his fault.

When he had to step in the delivery room to be there at the birth of his baby sister, his beautiful baby sister who might be the only family he had left, it was her that carefully tied the surgical robes and cap on his head, she who scrubbed his hands clean whilst he tried to muster the energy to just keep standing. It was that unruly blonde with whom he was inextricably linked that never promised him it would all be ok, because she knew it might not be. It was her that told him the truth as she knew it at that moment; she was there and she wasn't going anywhere.

She thought maybe if he knew she wasn't planning on leaving him he might not cling to her so much, that maybe he would acknowledge the existence of the others in the room.

She was wrong, which was a rarity when it came to him.

When she held that little life in her arms and sat next to Karen she was overcome with an overwhelming sense of confliction. She was holding a girl who was so beautiful and perfect whilst staring at her wonderful, critical, stand in mother. Lucas sat on the other side of Karen's bed, clinging on to the cold hand of his mom whilst sneaking glances at Peyton cradling his baby sister every once in a while so that maybe he could warm his heart just a little bit.

He knew now he was just a pawn in a waiting game. Either his mother would wake up or she wouldn't, but that last little piece of Keith was incredible and so was the girl who held her.

He was exhausted but couldn't sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes images of Dan and Keith, of his mother's collapse, of Peyton in the Library, flashed vividly in front of his eyes. The isolation he felt at those moments was mammoth, but Peyton was a constant in picking up the pieces and she was a constant now. She asked no explanation when she heard Deb shout at him for having a gun in his bag. There was time for questions later, she could wait. She sat and held his sister because his hands were shaking too much to support her head. She encouraged him to get up and walk around. She got him to change his shirt and gently urged him to go to Graduation with all of his friends that would be wherever he was. She didn't need to say it was her idea, he knew it and he loved her all the more for it.

When Deb rang to say his mother was flat lining he didn't blame her for taking him away from his bedside vigil. He just sprinted as fast as he could to his car only to find himself being shoved out of the way by a feisty blonde who was deceptively strong.

"You aren't driving Lucas. Karen doesn't need to find you in a coma when she comes around." Her soft hand kneaded the key from his and he suddenly realised his body was once again convulsing and tears spilled down his cheeks. She opened the passenger door for him when he couldn't do it himself and she started up the old Mustang whilst trying to keep contact with the broken boy she was trying to piece back together.

"I can't lose her Peyt." He sobbed quietly under his breath and her fingers just rubbed more lovingly over his knuckles.

"You aren't going to."

It was the first empty promise she made him.

Except coming from her it wasn't. He knew she wasn't promising his mother's safe deliverance but she was promising that her spirit would never leave him, that it was embedded in him as Keith was embedded in his sister.

When Lucas received another call from Deb it was either going to be to tell him his mother had passed or that she was fine.

For the first time in a long time Peyton took a moment to utter a silent prayer, pleading with whatever benevolent creature that was out there for it to be the latter.

She saw the muscles in his face relax. The jaw that had been clenched for so long released and he let out a deep sigh of contentment. She knew what that meant and she smiled so widely for a moment before she caught herself and turned her grin into a soft smirk of satisfaction.

And maybe it was naïve of her to think that after all that tenderness she could just pull away again, but she did immediately. Karen was going to be fine so he didn't need her anymore. She tried to convince herself the flash of hurt that ran through his eyes as she retracted her hand from his was in her imagination.

But it wasn't and she knew that. She just didn't know he needed her both when he was out of the woods as well as in them.

And he wished he could have given her all of the right words, all of the perfect, whole, wonderful words to tell her that.

But he couldn't, at least not yet.

Still, when he lay down in his room that evening and opened up his laptop he tried as best he could to do her credit through his words on the page.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Rachel was back.

And not just in a kind of "Oh, yeah, I skipped town for a couple of weeks but had to come home to get my stuff before college" sort of way.

She was back in a "We're underage and we've just finished high school and if I have to put up with this middle of nowhere town I might as well throw an enormous party" sort of way.

They all went, every last person in their grade. From the nerds to the jocks to the stoners to the band geeks, everyone was there. It was one last hoorah before their time came to an end and a new age dawned. At midnight they would cease to exist on the Tree Hill High database.

With that in mind Peyton thought it about time to cut some dead weight when she found her loser boyfriend hitting on an unsuspecting sophomore/junior or whatever they were nowadays.

Briton leaned with his arm resting on the wall above some petite peroxide blonde barbie's head. Peyton recognized her as a girl who had wanted so desperately to become a cheerleader and failed so became a slut instead.

_Typical__._

Peyton thought nothing more of Briton's infidelity and blatant indiscretions. She knew he was drunk and maybe a bit high and he certainly hadn't been getting much of anything from her. The sight of her blonde counterpart across the room instilled her with a sense of purpose to cut all ties with the waster she was stuck with and move on, move up towards greatness.

"Hi boyfriend!" Peyton said in an all too chirpy and highly sarcastic matter.

"Peyton what are you doing?" Briton tried to shrug her off and return to his conquest that didn't care in the least if he was attached or not. Peyton, on the other hand, had other ideas.

"I was just going to see if you were busy but evidently you've found your new flavour of the month…or maybe night would be more appropriate."

Briton's barbie wasn't a sight for sore eyes. She was pretty in the way that average girls often pretend to be given the use of ten inches of makeup. She had a good body and she showed it unabashedly in an outfit that even Brooke would cringe at and call indecent. She was the sort of girl who looked pretty good in the dark when you were drunk but you wouldn't want to wake up to the morning after.

"Peyton, go away." Briton demanded in a dangerous growl.

Peyton just threw her head back and laughed that musical, throaty laugh of hers which only angered Briton more.

"You know what? That sounds like a good idea. In fact, it's such a good idea let's make it permanent. I'm gone, for good. Now go do whatever deplorable things you want to this….well, _child." _

She felt an overwhelming sense of pride return to her as she turned to walk away. It wasn't the pride she felt when she saw that gleam of hurt in Lucas' eyes after her diatribe in Honey Grove, the type of pride that came from exacting some sort of revenge by making him feel half as bad as she once did due to his words or lack thereof. It wasn't the pride she had tried to regain after being rejected by maybe the only boy she'd ever _truly _loved and did love. It was a sort of pride that signalled the return of her self-respect. She was free once again to be with someone who deserved her. She was free to be with him.

Briton didn't even try to stop her and make a big deal of things. They always had a tempestuous relationship, he assumed this wouldn't be the end of it and even if it was he'd find somebody else all too willing to fall into bed with him. He thought that if he was going to change for anyone it would be Peyton Sawyer, but she didn't ask him to and he knew her whole heart wasn't with him. She was the only girl he'd ever called his "girlfriend" but he knew his label in relation to her was just "distraction". So he carried on as he always did and tried not to hurt every time she looked at another boy more wistfully than she ever had or would with him. Peyton Sawyer and he weren't meant to be and he'd seen that from the beginning.

It was fun while it lasted and amounted to nothing much at all.

Instead of wasting away on "what could have beens" Briton just turned back around to the girl who was more invested in him than he was in her.

"Sorry about that. Now, where were we?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hi buddy." Peyton uttered quietly and sarcastically. She sat down next to him on the stone bench that stood overgrown with ivy looking out onto the empty woods surrounding the clearing.

Lucas chuckled quietly as he glanced at her before staring back out into nothingness.

They sat next to each other in silence for a while and were oddly comfortable. There was no malice in the quiet, or resentment, but instead they felt acceptance and genuine care for their counterpart.

"You were right, you know." Peyton spoke again, shaking Lucas from thinking about very little except her. He gave her a confused glance as she refused to catch his eyes, but she knew he didn't really know which instance she was talking about so she elaborated without him having to ask. "What you said in Honey Grove, about Briton being an ass, you were right. I knew it then and I know it now, I just did something about it this time." What she didn't say was that when she got angry she was just being stubborn and pig-headed and that she'd never meant to shout at him or reject the idea of any form of relationship with him and that she had, finally, rejected any form of relationship with Briton.

And she knew that he would hear all that she didn't say as well as all that she did. It was just the way with them.

He answered her by placing his rough and calloused hand on her soft one. It seemed as though they could have been back in Honey Grove or anywhere else. It stopped mattering because it was enough for them to just sit and be together in that moment. They both just wanted it to be perfect until it wasn't again.

"How's your mom doing?" Peyton asked. She'd been round to the house a few times since Karen had gotten home but Lucas had always been out and Karen had always been running around with Lilly, trying to placate her screaming newborn.

"She's….." Lucas exhaled harshly, unsure of the answer. "She's doing the best she can. She's so in love with Lilly it's insane. And it's so incredible to have Keith back in some form. Physically she's exhausted, but I guess that's to be expected."

Peyton gave him a soft, reproachful look. She knew she shouldn't press him about Dan but she was always the one he could talk openly with.

"She went to see him." Lucas gave by way of explanation. He was never one to hide things from her, except maybe his feelings. "I think it helped her. She's moving on with Lil' and she's got plenty to keep her on her toes. You know my Mom; she can't sit still for a second and she won't let Dan change that."

He seemed at peace, except for when he said his father's name. In that split second his voice changed from soft and calm to being full of hate. If she didn't feel the same way she would have been a little scared of him, but she did feel the same way, of course she did.

She had hardly known Keith in reality, but she never doubted that he was the best type of man. She was sure that was a large part of why Lucas was the best type of man too. She couldn't help but feel as though Keith wouldn't have even been in that school if Lucas hadn't run in after her, although in her heart of hearts she knew he would have been there anyway, just as the blue eyed, blonde haired boy would have gone back in, if not for her then for Haley or Skills or somebody.

Lucas knew that he would have been in there too, but not in the same way. He felt as though his heart stopped beating when Brooke said she'd lost Peyton. He'd never felt a loss like it until that day. It was only later on that he felt a loss that rivalled it.

"How about you? Brooke told me about your internship! That's….it's really great Peyton." He struggled to be happy for her leaving, but it was her dream and he had no right to ask her to stay or give it up in return for something that neither of them even had.

She scoffed a little and rolled her eyes in the way that she knew pissed him off but she didn't know he loved.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." She said it quietly and gently, but they both knew it was a loaded statement. She was warning him that now was not the time for proclamations or romantic gestures. That would change everything and she wasn't sure either of them could handle the drama that would undoubtedly be brought.

Her statement had the opposite affect on him, however. Suddenly he found that he needed for them to stop being there for each other only when they were at code red and start anew. She was leaving and, as always, their timing was appalling.

But finally he knew that he had to take a leap and that he wanted to take it with her. He always had and always would.

"I don't want you to go." He stated and she exhaled loudly. She didn't want this conversation. It would end in goodbye and she couldn't take it.

"Luke, you can't just say that. We haven't…"

"No. Peyt, just…just please let me tell you this." He said desperately.

And he asked her to be quiet so she listened.

"I know that this isn't the time to try to fix things, but we'll always find something that'll get in the way of what we need to say. It seems that every second I could have been with you but haven't I've regretted, but I don't want to live like this anymore. You…you're supposed to bitch at me or laugh with me or just _talk_ with me, none of this…avoidance crap. Since the moment we first became…something we haven't hidden from each other, and even if we tried to it wouldn't have worked. That time I spent in Charleston, it didn't make me a better version of myself. I lost myself because I moved on to second best when I couldn't wait for you. It seems to be the way with us and it isn't fair. _I'm _not fair to you and this may be too little too late but I can't…"

He struggled to find the words to express what he meant as he tore his eyes away from hers, "….I can't go on like this knowing that I haven't done everything in my power to end it. That night in your room, I was stupid and couldn't believe that it could finally have happened with us. I couldn't believe that something was going right, moving forward, in our relationship without there being an ulterior motive, but there wasn't and I was too idiotic to see how genuine you were.

"When I first heard about you and Briton I….I suddenly knew how you must have felt when you first saw me and Brooke. I….I really did love Brooke, but it was _easy_ to be with her. There were no '_star crossed_' moments with us. We just existed as a couple and I wanted that to be enough even though I knew that it wasn't."

The boy suddenly stood up, letting her petite hand fall from his grip and he paced about the clearing. He let out a hollow laugh that echoed softly among the stars. Still she just sat, trying to absorb the meaning of his words.

"I remember the nights over the summer when we just sat in my house or yours, listening to music, reading, watching old, clichéd movies that made you cry. You had too much pride to admit it when you got lost in all the romance, you tried to wipe away the tears subtly and would try to cover your tracks by making some sort of biting remark, but you could never convince me that you were a cynic, not really. I know that you're like me, you're an old soul, you believe in destiny and fate and '_the one'_. I saw it in those moments over the summer, and I still see it now, somewhere inside you."

She let out an audible sob now, and Lucas was back on the stone bench, cradling her in a flash. He didn't expect it when she pushed him away, stood up and gathered herself.

Well, she _tried _to gather herself, but all it took was one look at the blonde boy and she was right back where she started.

"Lucas, I…"

She floundered, unsure of how to react. She didn't know whether she should fall into his arms or hit him for conflicting her more. She wanted him to know every part of her, but at the same time she wanted to push him away because he already did. Words were never needed with them anyway. They delivered few speeches to each other and they didn't need to. It had only taken three little words to destroy their stable relationship.

He stood up once more and walked towards her. She took one step back and then stopped moving, letting him advance on her. His coarse hand reached up and caressed her soft cheek as she closed her eyes and exhaled, nuzzling into his palm. He slowly took another step closer, wary not to startle her, until his hips were centimetres from hers and their breath was intermingled. He rested his forehead on hers and drank in everything he possibly could about her.

When her hopeful green eyes looked up at him he saw that they were waterlogged, but he wasn't worried anymore. She may have been tired and confused but he saw the love they shared light up those emerald orbs. The sparkle that she had lost for so long now was found. He was sure the same went for him.

"Luke." Her voice came out as a melodious whisper, like ambrosia for his ears. "You better be serious."

He laughed a bit because he didn't know what more he could do. How she could think he was anything but serious was beyond him. She wasn't perfect, he would never claim that, but she was perfect _for him_.

"Luke!" She cried, although playfully, in response to his chuckle. She lifted her arm to teasingly hit him but he caught it and with his other arm her tilted her chin up so that he was looking at her.

"I've never spoken truer words, I promise."

"Thank God for that." She breathed out as she lifted her hands to entwine with his hair and he instinctively dropped one hand to her waist as he pulled her closer. She licked the side of her mouth tentatively, waiting for his lips to finally descend.

And just like that, the concept of any of her actions with Lucas ending in goodbye slipped her mind. They were just in the here and now for once, at last not making excuses or denying anything.

She loved him, she had told him that much.

But now, for the first time, she was almost certain he loved her too.

A smile worked its way to her lips as the tension in the air mounted around the two tortured, fated souls.

His head began to swoop down so that they could finally have their long awaited, first non-cheating kiss (if you excluded that whole debacle at the Scott residence). Her heart felt as though it had stopped beating and she was a part of one of those out-of-body experiences which people are prone to when their dreams come true.

But timing was never really Brooke's thing, and at that moment her raspy shout pierced the air, beckoning the two to come to the cars. Apparently there was another place they'd all rather be.

Peyton had to disagree; she would be more than happy to have stayed in Lucas' arms forever.

Still, the brunette beckoned and so the blondes made their way out of their enclave, only breaking their hands apart when they came into view of their friends.

Soon all of them; Rachel, Brooke, Chase, Mouth, Junk, Fergie, Skills, Bevin, Nathan and Haley, as well as Peyton and Lucas, were at the River Court for one last start up game before they moved on. They played and they laughed and the two of them were sharing lust-filled and loving glances.

He didn't try to hide the fact that he was checking her ass when she bent over to spray paint her name onto the tarmac and she didn't try to hide her glee at the fact he was skins whilst Nathan was shirts. It was just a case of waiting for everyone to leave so that they could continue from where they were interrupted.

By the time it was just Lucas making free throws and Peyton sitting on the bleachers it was about 3:30 in the morning. As soon as Junk's car clattered out of sight Lucas threw his ball to the side and ran up to Peyton, spinning her round in his arms just to get one beautiful laugh sounding from her lips.

"Finally alone again." He whispered in her ear seductively and she giggled again, bracing herself against his chest.

"Lucas Scott!" She shrieked indignantly. He was about to rebut and enter into some banter with her but he found her lips on his before he could speak.

He hadn't initiated it and the tension was only just starting to build and it was more like the beginnings of a kiss shared between people who had been a couple for years and who were so comfortable with each other.

But they should have been a couple for years and they finally were back to being wholly comfortable with each other and he couldn't help but find it the perfect kiss for them. It wasn't like in fairytales and that suited them.

When they broke apart for air she just smiled mischievously and giggled softly and he found himself grinning more widely than he ever had before.

"I love you too, you know?"

He was months too late in saying it, but he'd finally also bared his soul to her.

She looked taken aback for a moment and then she beamed at him. She seemed complete again and he felt complete with her in his arms.

"Lucas Eugene Scott." She said slowly with her southern drawl accentuated, "You sure do know how to charm a girl past first base."

"Well? Did it work?" He asked with a cheeky glint in his eye.

She pulled away from him a little and pretended to think about his question though they both knew the answer. She turned back to him and nodded her head as he captured her lips once more.

He wasn't really expecting her to instruct him to take her home, but he certainly wasn't complaining. Brooke was with Chase that night and had already moved all of her stuff out so they would have the apartment all to themselves.

Their fingers intertwined as he led her towards his Mustang and she whispered sweet nothings in his ear.

He thought he could really get used to that, having her there, loving her and being loved by her, being a whole person once more, being more himself than he could ever be if she wasn't with him.

He tried to avoid the niggling feeling that he _wouldn't _get to get used to it when he saw her packed boxes around her apartment and noticed the suitcase by the door.

If one night was all he got then he would take it, no questions asked.

That didn't mean, however, that he didn't hold out hope that they'd be together for more than a few hours in which they finally got their act together.

But as always it was just bad timing and politics.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When she woke up with his arms around her waist after finally having some perfect moments with him it took her all of about thirty seconds before reality dawned on her. For those thirty seconds she was in a state of bliss; her cheeks were glowing, she was happier than she could ever remember, she loved the feel of his skin on hers, the arm he draped across her stomach didn't feel as though it caged her in like it had when Briton had done it, instead she felt his love and protection.

But then she glanced at the time and realised that she was meeting Brooke at the airport in a half hour to start her new life.

He didn't want her to go, he'd vocalised that, but she knew that he wouldn't let her stay. He would say that she was destined to do great things and conquer the world one music lover at a time.

She couldn't quite fathom waking him. He was so serene and whole just lying there, without a care in the world. He wasn't a murderer's son or bastard or any other thing that he might have been labelled. He was just _Lucas_ and she couldn't disturb a sight that she'd dreamt of being a part of for so long.

So she replaced her body with a pillow as she snuck out of bed, trying not to stare at his naked body for too long for fear that she might corrupt it. She carefully loaded her boxes into the Denali Brooke had convinced (or blackmailed) Rachel into lending her. Her Comet was away in storage, already awaiting her return. She made sure she'd gotten everything, except the boy lying in her bed, and she left the keys to the apartment on the counter with a note for him to find.

She managed to avoid the goodbye she'd been so afraid of.

She just hoped to God he'd understand why.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Something felt wrong when his eyes fluttered open. Her scent was there but wasn't prominent and the warmth she exuded wasn't there at all. It took him all of about thirty seconds before reality dawned on him. Her boxes were gone as was she. He lay alone in her apartment after the unifying and faultless night they had shared.

He called out her name, desperately hoping that she was still there despite knowing she wasn't. He scrambled through the apartment, looking for a trace of her. He found her gentle cursive staring up at him from a note on the counter.

_Luke,_

_Listen to the answering machine._

_Peyt_

He saw the flashing number one on the answering machine to his left and hesitantly pressed play, unaware as to what she was going to say.

"_Hi Luke…_" Her melodious voice had a coarse and hesitant edge to it as she struggled to find the right words. "_I.....I couldn't write down what I wanted to say so I thought maybe this was…more personal if still just as cowardly. I won't keep you long, I know you probably want to burn every remnant of me you have right about now but I just wanted…needed to tell you this."_

He heard her take an audible breath over the recording and he could tell she was trying to steady and calm her voice. _"I just…please just know that I really do love you Lucas Scott, but I have to go to L.A. I know that if I'd woken you up you'd have just told me you couldn't keep me here anyway. I just have to…to see if I can do it on my own, away from Tree Hill and two dead mothers and a psycho stalker and a school shooting."_

He wanted to shout at her for not letting him have the opportunity to say all those things to her and just assuming what his position would be, but in his heart of hearts he couldn't, because she was right.

"_And....and I didn't know how to tell you goodbye, I never have. You've always been somewhat of a…constant in my life." _There was a hiccup in her voice and he could hear her eyes watering up.

"_Maybe its just…maybe its better to keep this night as it is; perfect…and not ruin it with…I think anything long distance would just end up hurting us Luke, so maybe this is for the best, that I'm leaving and you're staying."_

There was long pause on the recording and Lucas tapped his fingers impatiently on the counter, waiting for her to finish her message.

"_Please try to forgive me for this Luke. I'm not doing it to hurt you, that's the last thing I want._

"_I guess…God I hate goodbyes so I'm not going to say it. I don't think I could if I wanted to…Until next time."_

He turned back towards the bedroom, head hung low and tears threatening to sting his eyes. He got two steps before her voice froze him once more.

"_I'll be seeing ya' Lucas Scott_".

And with that he grabbed his car keys and darted out of the apartment and sped off towards the airport. He had to see her again and say goodbye, or until next time or whatever the hell she wanted. He knew that all he wanted was her.

He managed to make it to the airport in record time and he was amazed that he didn't get pulled over by the cops. He saw Nathan and Haley, evidently there to wave there friends off, and Haley held baby James in her arms.

His world came crashing down a little bit as he caught eyes with Nathan and he received an apologetic stare as his brother's eyes diverted to the plane that was launching off of the runway as they stood.

Once again they missed each other by a whisper.

Once again they were both left heartbroken and unsure of how to pick up the pieces.

This time, however, they'd both be doing so on opposite coasts with different distractions and even less communication. Their subtle glances wouldn't work anymore.

For the first time Lucas Scott really doubted Peyton Sawyer.

"I'll be seeing ya'" didn't seem like a viable option anymore.

- - - - - - - - - - -

**A/N: Hi guys. As always sorry for the wait. I am massively busy**** with school and organising things at school so fitting in time for writing is tough. I was doing this chapter at like six in the morning so forgive any mistakes!**

**Chapter Title is song by Ben Folds Five.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of OTH or the characters…damn.**

**Don't forget to hit that little green button and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!**


	6. Fade Away and Radiate

**There is a really important A/N at the bottom of the page if you have the time to read it. But for now here is the next chapter!**

* * *

_Four years later__._

It remained unchanged.

For the most part, at least.

The black tarmac was a little more worn and the paint on the bleachers was peeling away. The rope of the nets grew frailer with each passing day, the helpless victim of the cruel elements. There were a few stray weeds that had grown resiliently through the concrete, but they'd always been there.

And then there were their names, spray painted on the dark ground as a reminder that they were there, in that spot, with all those dreams they had.

Except now, four years down the line, the paint was faded and their presence was being worn away along with all that their existence stood for.

And she was the only one there, as promised. They weren't all friends forever and life certainly hadn't treated her as kindly as it could have, but she remembered what Brooke had said all the same. She'd made it back, finally, with the brunette in tow, but her best friend was tired from the flight and the hotel bed was calling her, leaving the blonde to wonder into the land of symbolism, hope and forgotten dreams all by herself.

Of course she'd made her way to the Rivercourt that was such a major milestone in her life. This had been her beginning in so many ways, _their_ beginning maybe.

L.A. hadn't exactly chewed her up and spit her out. She was good at her job and she was moving up through the ranks of a major label, but somewhere along the way she lost a little of the integrity she'd once been so proud of. She was done with dropping buttons and wearing higher heels and shorter skirts. That wasn't the industry she'd chosen to make a career in, one day she'd just found herself a part of it. So she started trying to challenge the foundations of the company she worked for and found them unshakeable. Her next move was to quit, starting again.

She was back to find herself, and a little of that inspiration that she'd felt all that time ago.

Brushing off her jeans she stood up and looked around the floodlit court once more before receding into the darkness. She just missed the sound of an orange sphere approaching and the sight of a blonde boy, or rather man, stepping into the light.

Walking back to the hotel she'd never expected to feel so at ease in a place that she'd tried to convince herself only contained heartache.

She'd never expected Tree Hill to feel this much like home, at least not after four years of not being there.

When he stepped forward and made his first shot of the evening he couldn't help but feel another presence, one that he'd tried to forget over the past few years. He looked at her gentle cursive seeping into the black ground, staining the very essence of the court. He couldn't find it in himself to think of that as a bad thing.

When he caught the scent of vanilla and lavender on the wind he just shook his head and smiled at the memories and he somewhat cursed himself for thinking of her so fondly after all of this time.

What he didn't really know was why on this night of all nights he was drawn to the court that had always been his lifeline and was forever to be tainted by her, both in reality and in his mind.

He had remembered the unofficial reunion that was supposed to occur at this time too.

Or at least he hadn't forgotten it.

Neither of them ever really would.

* * *

Haley James Scott had always had an open door policy. Her house welcomed all friends, old and new. It was the hearth of their group and she gladly took on the matriarchal role, loving and caring for all those who entered into her home.

So when her two old best friends showed up unannounced she just screamed a little and hugged them both so tightly that they complained about bruised ribs, before offering them a glass of homemade lemonade (which Jamie proudly pointed out that he helped with) and beckoning them out to sit in the back yard and talk awhile to catch up on life and all those little things that slipped through the cracks when distance gets in the way.

They talked about Brooke and all her success and Peyton suddenly uprooting her life and searching for a place to replant it. They talked about how all the emailed pictures didn't do the young child who was running about justice and how perfect he was. They talked about how Nathan was trying to rehab after a stupid accident, and how he was doing well and getting looked at by scouts again. They talked about all the dreams Brooke and Haley had succeeded in achieving whilst somehow managing to avoid Peyton's apparent lack of fulfilment. They talked about all of their high school friends and discovered how they'd grown and developed (which in the case of Junk and Fergie wasn't very much). The only topic they managed to expertly steer clear of was that of Lucas and all things pertaining to him.

Peyton wasn't sure whether that was a good or bad thing or whether she even had the right to care any more at all.

As the day wore on the drinks were finished and Haley and Brooke retreated to the kitchen to prepare lunch whilst Peyton rolled around outside with Jamie. Haley remarked that it was probably best that the blonde girl looked after the little boy; they knew what her track record with food was. Peyton gave an indignant face to her friend but Brooke just scoffed and agreed with the singer, saying that she couldn't even make a green salad.

So Peyton huffed and stomped outside petulantly and Jamie followed suit, making his mother and godmother laugh. It wasn't long before screams of joy wafted through the kitchen window and the two brunette women shared a knowing look.

Scott boys all had a thing for Peyton Sawyer, it was official.

It didn't take long for the three girls to heal all of the wounds that had been inflicted over the past few years due to distance and space, as well as the giant elephant that stood somewhere between Haley and Peyton and took the form of a blonde author. Soon they were back to being the 22 year olds that they were, leaving the weight of the world to be shouldered by somebody else for a time.

It all changed at about five, after a day of memories and new beginnings. Following working out with his brother for a day the darker haired Scott entered his home to a hell of a lot of noise and a brunette that wasn't his wife flying at him.

"Nathan!" Brooke shouted as she flung her arms around his neck. He stood there a little too shocked to realize what was going on.

When he locked eyes with his wife to ask for some form of explanation she just shrugged like it was nothing.

Nathan accepted it then and there.

So when a leggy artist entered the room chasing after Jamie it barely registered. It was just another day in the Scott household, and some old friends were there to share it with them.

"Daddy! Aunt Peyton's trying to tickle me!" Jamie explained as he tried to hide behind his father. Nathan just laughed a little and smirked at the blonde girl who was slowly approaching his son. She raised her eyebrow in challenge to both of the boys.

"Jamie." Nathan took hold of his son's shoulders and crouched to his level. "You know I love you right?" The little boy nodded to his father with a perplexed look gracing his features.

"Well…" Nathan lowered his voice to a stage whisper as he continued, whilst Peyton took another step forward, "I'm afraid of Aunt Peyton, so you're on your own with this one."

And with that Nathan let go of his son and Peyton pounced, throwing the young boy over her shoulder and tickling his stomach whilst he screamed in delight. Peyton ran out of the kitchen with Jamie and onto the patio in the back garden whilst the rest of the adults recollected.

"So Jamie loves her?" Nathan stated whilst kissing Haley's forehead. She just nodded and smiled whilst Brooke sighed dramatically.

"It sucks." She declared after a moment's thought, "He's supposed to like me more, I'm his godmother!" Nathan just smiled, remarking how good it was to see her and how it was nice to know fame hadn't made her into a diva.

"Oh honey, she was always a diva." Haley laughed and Brooke merely shrugged, accepting the truth.

The sound of the front door opening and closing again drew their attention away from Brooke's hissy fit.

"Hey Hales, what's for dinner?" Lucas began until he realised that it wasn't just his brother and sister-in-law that stood in the kitchen. An alien person had invaded his little town, or a not-so-alien person had returned home. "Brooke? What are you doing here?" Lucas asked, a detectable hint of excitement filtering through to his tone.

"Well hey Broody!" Brooke bounded towards the next Scott brother and hugged him too, except he wasn't as stiff or shocked as Nathan had been.

Or at least he wasn't until the sound of Peyton's voice filtered into the kitchen.

"Darlin'," she exclaimed with that slow, drawling, magnetic Southern twang of hers, "Don't you dare try to chase me down!"

Lucas didn't really register much after that moment, not even that he stopped breathing. He'd forgotten that if the brunette was back in town then the blonde was sure to be near.

She pushed through the glass doors into the room with Jamie jumping on her back as she did so. She just smiled and let him, releasing a musical, throaty laugh and a quick comment about how much the little boy weighed.

She didn't become conscious of his presence until she stood upright and felt the shift in the atmosphere in the room. She followed Haley's eyes as she gazed between the two blonde adults.

Jamie slid off of Peyton's back when the green eyes of the artist caught his uncle's blue. Suddenly Peyton's arms weren't strong enough to carry the young child and her body was too upright and rigid for him to hold on.

The boy didn't really understand the change in the feeling in the room. It wasn't cold or angry, but instead shocked and still. There was a sense of caution that hung thickly in the air and the essence of confusion was palpable. Nobody knew what to say, what any of it meant, nobody knew where the two blondes stood with each other or whether somebody should do something to interrupt the staring match that was going on between the two.

And nobody knew why that chemistry and heat that the two tortured souls possessed hadn't faded or even disappeared over time.

He hadn't thought this was the situation in which he would next be seeing her. He wanted to be showered and dressed in something other than a polo shirt and some basketball shorts. He didn't want to still be a little red in the face from working out with Nathan and he certainly didn't want to be in a room full of people who knew every inch of their sordid past. He wanted to be in slacks and a shirt, dressed in the way that she'd always said she loved. He wanted to see her at a time where he could boast about how well he was doing without her, at a book launch or engagement party or something that might impress her and make her regretful. He still had some sort of desire to make her see what she was missing.

And it didn't help that she looked radiant, with her tousled hair falling in perfect ringlets and those skinny jeans showing off her long, slim legs, legs that had always been his kryptonite. Her cheeks were pink from playing with Jamie, the very idea of which warmed his soul a little, and he hated that it did.

She certainly hadn't planned on seeing him again like this either. She'd wanted it to be just them; maybe she would call him first or email or just go over to his house. They could be in a situation which wasn't so extremely awkward and she could explain to him why she was back. They could be rational and logical and there wouldn't have to be any raised voices or uncomfortable silences, and if there were then nobody else would be privy to them.

Jamie ran over to his uncle and tugged on his pant leg, trying to get some grasp of a situation he was far too young to even try to comprehend. Slowly Lucas lowered his head and, finally, his eyes to his nephew and smiled rather unconvincingly.

"Hi Luke."

She hadn't even meant for his old nickname to slip out but it was always so organic coming from her. His body froze a little more as he just took a deep breath and started avoiding her gaze.

Haley just smiled and exhaled, unable to think of anything to break the silence with. Brooke walked away from the side of the blonde man and his nephew and went to join Haley whilst Nathan hugged his wife a little tighter. Jamie, seeing the movement towards his mother, left Lucas' side and ran to her as well and she picked him up.

All watched keenly as nothing really happened, the two blondes standing on opposite sides of the room, unable to really say anything to each other or anyone else. It seemed as though hours had passed even though in reality they had been in each other's company for less than a minute.

"I just wanted to make sure Nathan got in alright." Lucas lied suddenly turned away from Peyton and looked towards Haley, making up some lame excuse that nobody believed. His eyes darted once more to Peyton before he turned back to his best friend, "I've got to get home."

And with that he turned and walked out the door, waving a goodbye to the people in the room as he left.

It wasn't until he was outside the front door that he stopped and remembered to take a breath. It wasn't until she heard his car start up that she realised that she too was holding hers.

She didn't know whether to laugh, cry or collapse. She wasn't sure she was entitled to have any of the reactions she wanted to have, so instead she stood up a little straighter and expressed no form of emotion about seeing Lucas again.

"Nathan! Sorry about earlier!" Peyton adopted a false smile that didn't quite reach her eyes fully, "Your little Rugrat was distracting me!" She walked over to her group of friends, ignoring the worried looks Haley and Brooke were giving her and ignoring the past minute or so.

Nathan knew avoidance was Peyton's go to defence mechanism. He also knew she was far more stubborn and volatile than the rest of the people standing in the kitchen, so he elected to not make a scene, no more than had already been made anyway. He just swept one of his closest friends into a sweet hug.

"How've you been, Sawyer?"

* * *

It was dark and still. He liked nights like this, the nights that juxtaposed the way he was feeling quite poetically.

To say he had been shocked would have been an understatement. He wasn't just confused; he was in a state of utter turmoil. She was back and looked healthier and happier than he had ever seen her and healthier and happier than he could have ever made her. The years had been kind to her, as had the LA sun seemingly. He hated that he noticed the tan glow of her skin or her sun-kissed blonde hair and casual, yet always alluring, wardrobe. He couldn't believe she'd come back without telling him, yet at the same time what right had he to know? It wasn't as though they'd stayed in contact and after their last encounter he was pretty sure he wasn't her favourite person. And now she just blew back into town and thought it appropriate to knock the wind right out of him. He was totally torn and maybe a bit crazy, but if he had lost the plot a little it was her that had distracted him from the story.

But the stars were out in their hundreds and there was no breeze disturbing the river. The internal tempest inside him raged but the River Court stood still and steady, the nets only moving when he sunk a shot through them and the leaves on the trees making no sound at all.

He heard a car alarm go off somewhere in the distance, breaking the serenity and making him chuckle a little bit.

So maybe one in the morning wasn't the best time to be out and about on his own, playing basketball right next to a river in a place that was renowned for having far too much drama and far too many tragic incidents, but it sure as hell would make a great novel. Maybe he could write a sequel to his original work about the town.

He shook his head as if to rid his brain from the thought. That was another reason he had to escape the confines of his house. He had suddenly been overwhelmed by an urge to write something, anything, if only a poem or a short story. He'd been going through a proverbial drought when it cam to his writing for a while now, but one look at her and he's inspired again. That wasn't the way it was supposed to work. She thought that evasion was her trademark and hers alone, but Lucas had been bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders for a hell of a long time and he seemed to do a mighty fine job of avoiding the fact that his back was starting to ache from it all.

So he dribbled a ball on an old tarmac court that they'd sat by, and laughed by and had one night of not-so-stolen glances on. He ran over the spot where they had their second first kiss and laid down on the bleachers that she had cheered him on from.

It was this position that she found him in. It seemed her nightly walks were always leading her to the old court, to him. She'd always thought of the place as an extension of the blonde boy she'd known, she just didn't realise that she'd had such an attachment to it at the same time.

She sure as hell hadn't expected him to be there. It was late, or early, or whatever you wanted to call it. He should be at home, in his bed, not feeling just as questioning and restless as she was.

He raised his head when he heard women's shoes hitting the tarmac. They took two steps onto the court and then stopped. He sat up and looked at her, she was frozen once again because of him. His blue eyes looked at her questioningly as he cocked his head to the side. She just shrugged and blew out a breath through her pursed lips, as though that was answer enough.

And somehow it was.

"Lucas." She whispered and the still night carried the tender sound towards his ears. He slowly raised himself from the bench and stepped onto the court, facing her, eyes searching for something though he knew not what. She took an apprehensive step forward, not wanting to spook him.

"God, how long has it been?" She said, trying to find something to say to him but not really knowing how to go about initiating a conversation. Just from looking at him she could tell so many things, like he still worked out for starters. His shoulders were tense and she could tell he held a lot of frustration inside of himself, although she didn't know if that was brought on by her or some other factor, she liked to think it was the latter because she could help him solve the latter.

He looked well, he looked proud, he looked like he'd done just fine without her. She didn't blame his hesitant demeanour, the last time they'd seen each other she hadn't exactly been positive towards him. She would be extremely wary of her too.

"Two years." She was shocked by his gruff voice. It was the first she'd heard of it in far too long. She was sure it had subtle differences too, that it had matured with him. He sounded wiser, less bright eyed and bushy tailed and more realistic, whilst still avoiding being cynical or jaded, that was her corner. She only ever heard his voice on the odd radio interview he did or the audiobook of his novel. It sounded good to hear him address her again.

"It's been longer than that." She answered softly and affectionately in reply. She took another step forward, encouraged by the dialogue that they had so far managed.

But instead of opening his arms to her, he stepped back and put the orange ball he was holding between them.

"I have someone." He told her, not meaning for his voice to sound quite so spiteful or contemptuous. He didn't want to gloat at her but he couldn't help himself. She'd left him, not the other way around, and he tried not to feel guilty. Unfortunately his justification only ran skin deep and something a little bit more like shame flooded through his veins. He didn't want her to be hurt.

"I'm…with someone" He clarified more gently, without having been asked. Her mouth fell agape a little, confused as to why he would tell her that.

Well, she knew _why_ he might tell her that but she hadn't expected him to tell her so bluntly.

And she hadn't expected it to hurt so much.

Still, after faltering for a second she readjusted her vision and looked at him again with a soft smile and a small laugh playing on her lips.

"Me too. Going on a year and a half now, actually." She told him in return. She could tell he was shocked and again a tiny chuckle graced her features. She didn't know why she found it so funny that he thought she had returned to Tree Hill for him. She could read him like a book, standing there confused after he tried to warn her of his unavailability. It was like he thought that she saw him and Tree Hill as the same thing, and that with one came the other. He'd forgotten that she'd lived longer without him in her life than in it.

So she laughed at his assumption and at his charming way of being unintentionally egotistical and at the tiny voice in her head that was still crying out in pain at the fact that he was attached.

"Oh." He answered, just to say something and stop the silence setting in. That was what he feared, the silence, not because it would be awkward or uncomfortable but because he was afraid it _wouldn't _be. He was frightened that he might feel fine just standing there, not saying a word.

Peyton could pick up on his hesitation and all of a sudden she was very much aware that by being at _his _court at such an ungodly hour, she was encroaching on his time. She couldn't know the myriad of things he had to sort through, but she did know that the River Court was where he did some of his best thinking. She knew that he would come here and play ball because it just _made sense_ to him, even when the world was falling apart. He'd told her himself, he just shoots and the ball goes in, like it's as natural as breathing. For him she knows that that was exactly the case.

"Ok. Well I'm…I'll just…" Peyton smiled nervously and pointed down the river, backing off of the court. Lucas was stuck somewhere between telling her to hurry up and leave and dragging her back and wrapping her into the hug that was so long overdue between the two.

And then, like a sign or omen, the car alarm went off again. At first Lucas thought that the warning bells in his head were sounding awfully realistic, but it only took him a moment to understand that it was the middle of the night, and whilst Tree Hill wasn't known for all of its muggings and attacks, she had had a psycho stalker and in the past five years there had been a murder and she wasn't exactly always prone to good luck.

He couldn't just let her wonder around, looking like _that_, all skinny arms and tangled mess of hair, in the dark of the night when God knows what could happen to her. They may have had their fair share of heartbreak, but he was too much of a gentleman to let her walk around alone. He would have done it for anyone.

And maybe that was true, but there were very few women he would have escorted back happily, without it having been a chore. He wasn't sure why she fell into the latter category but she did, along with Haley, Brooke, his mom, Lilly.

Oh, and of course his girlfriend.

"Peyt" The shortened form of her name fell into the air and her head whipped around, surprised, pleasantly, by Lucas calling her back and calling her by the nickname she hated when it came from anyone's lips but his.

"Where are you headed?" He asked her, trying not to let too much of anything seep into his voice. He knew she could read every inflection in his voice like a book so he tried to avoid emotion altogether.

"The hotel, downtown. Brooke and I have been staying there." She stopped abruptly, realising he hadn't asked for her life story, just where she was staying. No need to exaggerate or provide a heavily extended and thoroughly rambled answer.

She looked at him with a soft stare, prompting him to speak, but no words were uttered. He just nodded and stepped towards the river, starting to walk down the path, the way that she had come.

Peyton stayed in her spot, studying the man who had once been her boy. She didn't know how he saw the woman who had once been so hopelessly and completely his girl, but she certainly wasn't getting much idea from him. She wondered what had made him so closed, and why he seemed exclusively to direct his coldness towards her. Sure, they weren't necessarily on the best of terms, but at the same time years had passed and they were both adults, and they'd already established they had both moved on from each other.

"You coming?" Lucas asked, turning around impatiently. Peyton raised her eyebrow at his tone.

"Coming where?" She replied sceptically.

"To your hotel." The conversation was short and direct, both of the blondes trying not to say more than was necessary. Words always got them into trouble and it never took very many with them.

"Well, yeah." Peyton replied. "_I'm _going to my hotel so _you _can get back to your game."

Lucas laughed derisively, but almost instantly wished he could take it back. He looked at the feisty blonde standing before him and remembered what it was like to have her angry at him. She was one of the most passionate, most frightening people he knew and although he loved that about her, he didn't want to incur her wrath.

_Used to love that about her_, he corrected himself.

Peyton stood on the edge of the floodlit tarmac, the yellow light from the court permeating her skin, making her glow whilst the silver light of the moon cast half-shadows on Lucas' face.

"Seriously, Peyton?" He asked but she kept her stance steady, eyebrow raised, hip jutting out, and hands on hips. He shook his once again, a little surprised that she hadn't remembered his hero complex that she always used to remind him about. "It's late; you aren't walking back by yourself." He instructed, leaving no room for argument in his voice.

"I walked out here alone, I can walk back alone Lucas. It isn't that tough." Peyton replied in a slightly patronizing tone, with her normal undercurrents of sarcasm seeping through.

"You shouldn't have walked out here alone." Lucas shrugged, like what he was saying was common sense and undeniably correct.

And Peyton realised that she was being a bitch, but she also knew that if she let herself rely on him she wouldn't stop. They would go back to having something unsaid but acknowledged lying between them that had the possibility to ruin everything.

"Lucas, really, I can manage on my own." Peyton protested.

"Listen, I'm not going to let the girl who had a stalker walk around alone in a town that has a bad track record for drama. I get that I may not be your favourite person and you may hate me, but you know you can trust me to not push you into the river. You don't have to even talk to me, or acknowledge me and then, later, we can go back to our perfectly separate existences, but for now, you are not walking home alone Peyton."

Peyton didn't know how to react to half of what Lucas had just told, or dictated to her, so once ore she was stunned into saying nothing, neither agreeing with or denying him.

"Peyton, it's either this or I call Nathan, and we both know how much he likes his sleep, him and Haley both. And if he's up then that might wake Jamie up, and we wouldn't want that. Plus, Nathan can hold a grudge almost as well as you can." Lucas argued and he saw Peyton's hesitance start to fade, her shoulders relaxing slightly.

"Nobody can hold a grudge as well as I can." Peyton mumbled jokingly under her breath softly and Lucas only just caught her words. He laughed quietly and knew he had broken her down. She strode off of the court and began walking alongside the writer and they fell into a steady pace.

They'd walked about five minutes before another word was spoken. The quiet wasn't uncomfortable; in fact it was the complete opposite, which is exactly what prompted the leggy blonde to speak. She couldn't let herself get too secure with him in the silences.

"I don't hate you Luke." His head spun around to meet her green eyes, but he couldn't catch them, she'd directed her gaze at the path that was extending in front of them. "I never hated you." She said as she stopped and looked up through her eyelashes. He too stopped and couldn't help but catch his breath as a light breeze ran its fingers through the curled tendrils of her hair. Her emerald orbs portrayed nothing but honesty as she replied to the offhand remark he'd made earlier when trying to convince her not to walk home alone.

"I know." He replied genuinely.

And he didn't know where his conviction came from. For so long he'd thought that she loathed him for the words he'd finally managed to say to her and the pain that they had caused both of them, but something in him reignited as he looked at her, looking so vulnerable as she rubbed her bare arms and begged him to believe her. In all honesty, she could have said just about anything in that moment and he would not doubt it for a second.

Her eyes lit up briefly before she nodded and continued walking, once more falling into rhythm beside him. A whisper of a smile danced across her pink lips and she laughed to herself, he caught the twinkle in her eyes and the magic that was manifesting itself on her face and he looked at her, perplexed as always.

"What?" He asked, finding it impossible not to smile with her.

"Nothing." She said modestly, but the look she received from Lucas proved that he didn't believe her in the slightest. "No, really, its nothing, I just…." She slowed down and looked at him and he returned her gaze, trying not to let his eyes flicker down to the lip she was biting.

"Its kind of funny, isn't it? And kinda tragic." She laughed and still he looked to her for embellishment of her statement. "I mean, four years ago we were here and we'd thought that we were _it _for each other. I mean, you wrote a _book_ Lucas, about it all, an incredible, moving _book_ about the way it should have been, and after that night…." Her voice grew quieter and she broke his gaze, unsure of whether to broach the topic of _that_ night with him, but she found a second wind, "Whilst you were asleep, I must have picked up the phone about a million times to call L.A. and cancel the whole internship thing. The only thing that stopped me was that I knew you wouldn't let me pass up an opportunity like it. In the end I went to L.A. because it's what I thought you would have wanted me to do. How screwed up is that? And I was so sure that in however long, we'd find our way back, you know? Like we were _meant to be_ and all that fairytale crap."

"And here we are, four years older, four years wiser, and from the looks of things we're both _happy_ with other people and with our lot, and its just…" Peyton stopped and took a breath, but Lucas just smiled in encouragement. He hadn't been sure where she was going with her diatribe but she was slowly making her way to a point where they could find some sort of platonic, common ground, "I just…I never saw us ending up here, but somehow it doesn't feel wrong that it's where we ended up."

"And of course it's always there, you know? It's our history, of course it's there…"

"But we don't have to be there with it anymore." Lucas offered as Peyton trailed off, and her eyes caught his and she smiled a genuine smile.

"You have an amazing capacity to forgive Lucas Scott." Peyton smiled at him and Lucas beamed back.

"Yeah well, you aren't so bad yourself, Sawyer." Lucas nudged her side and she laughed.

"But after everything….and then two years ago at the book signing when I just…" Peyton mimed an explosion and Lucas laughed under his breath.

"Yeah well, remind me never to get on your bad side again. I don't think I'll ever forget how frightening you are."

"Still having nightmares?" Peyton teased.

"Nathan's still having nightmares and he only heard half the story before he hid under the covers!" Lucas shot back.

"Well you know me. Peyton Sawyer: loner, cheerleader, artist, unemployed and also a despot in her free time."

"Wow, sounds like your life kind of sucks right now." Peyton shot Lucas and indignant face to which he just stuck out his tongue.

"I thought you didn't want to get me angry." Peyton threatened emptily.

"I thought you were tougher skinned than that." Lucas retorted, causing Peyton to take a second to recover, but it was only a moment and she'd be damned if he was going to beat her at the whole 'arguing' thing. Sure he was smart, and witty, and perfectly great at debates but she hadn't lost her magic touch.

"And what about you, Mr High-and-Mighty? I haven't heard any rumblings about Lucas Scott on the literary circuit since, hmm, I don't know, _Ravens_." Lucas looked at her, feigning shock at Peyton's reply, but finding nothing of his own to send back her way.

"Ouch Peyt! Don't sugar coat it, tell me what you really think!"

"Since when have I ever _sugar coated_ anything. I'm the Queen Bitch, remember?" Peyton smiled and shoved Lucas playfully towards the river. He stumbled, surprised at the jolt from the petite blonde woman standing next to him. When he regained his balance he looked at Peyton with a devilish glimmer in his eyes and she immediately understood his plan.

"Lucas Eugene Scott, don't you dare." Peyton warned before hesitantly breaking out into a run down the sidewalk and away from him.

"Oh, you better run." Lucas called playfully after her, picking up the pace. She weaved her way along the sidewalk of the town she could still navigate blindfolded whilst he followed her, both of them sprinting in their infantile chase. Lucas didn't know how she'd gotten so quick or where she'd received her stamina from, but he was sure as hell having a hard time catching up to her. He smiled when she turned around, running backwards to taunt him as he struggled to catch her, but he used it to his advantage, clutching a little at his chest and taking deep gasps for air whilst slowing down.

It took her a few moments to register that she was running against a man with HCM. Her eyes widened as the realization hit and within a few seconds she was at the blonde man's side, fretting over him.

"Lucas! Shit….Luke, come on, just take…I don't know….take deep breaths….crap, where is my phone? Are you ok? Do I need to dial 911?" She rambled nonsensically, missing the mischevious smirk that tugged on the corners of his lips.

It was only when a small chuckle escaped his mouth she realised the trick he'd played on her.

"You _Jackass!!"_ she exclaimed, hitting his arm.

"Ow!" He exclaimed in return. Instead of leaving it there she just hit his arm again.

"Are you insane? You don't fake a heart attack!! You are absolutely delusional! Seriously Luke? That isn't funny! You had me scared out of my mind."

He smiled more softly at her, letting her take her time to calm down.

"_You_ nearly gave _me_ a heart attack, jackass."

"You've already said that." Lucas pointed out, earning him a clip round the ear.

"You don't get to be mean to me right now. In fact from now on you have to accept that I just win. Everything. You pull a stunt like that and you forfeit the right to beat me in any argument or competition, except maybe the one for the biggest ass."

"Well, I think you'd put up fair competition in the as…"

Peyton silenced him with her finger pressing on his lips and suddenly she made him return to being that little boy scared of being told off by his mother.

"Don't even try it." Peyton instructed through gritted teeth. "You are officially my bitch after that. You're lucky I don't castrate you, but I don't think that'd be fair on your girlfriend."

Lucas merely nodded submissively, and watched as Peyton turned and walked away from him, embarking towards her hotel once more. And he certainly couldn't complain about the sight. She looked incredible from behind as well as from the front, from the way her hair fell across her shoulders and her hips swayed femininely, and her ass wasn't exactly an eye sore despite his earlier comment, and those legs, those legs that just went on forever.

He had to snap himself out of it as she called to him to catch her up whilst making some snide comment about how he was supposed to be walking her home. He just laughed and nodded, apologizing sarcastically for letting her down.

In another five minutes they had reached her hotel and she realized that they'd just had an incredible fifteen minutes, laughing and playing as though no time had past, as though no crap had happened and if it had it was just water under the bridge, as though they were friends like they had once been.

"Thanks Luke, I'm sure you scared off plenty of wannabe-attackers. It's much appreciated." Peyton couldn't help but joke.

"Well if that's the thanks I get…" Lucas began to joke and walk off but turned back around swiftly, pulling Peyton into a hug.

"I'm glad we did this." He whispered into her hair and she nodded back into his shirt. After a time he pulled away reluctantly, knowing that the hug had already lingered a little longer than it should have, given their history. He gave her one last smile before beginning to walk away. "Don't be a stranger, ok?" He asked hopefully.

She nodded her head in affirmation, watching him retreat slowly. "I'll be seeing ya." She said after him and she heard his smile and soft, gruff laughter pierce the air. She was amazed that in one night they had come so far. They were reliving the past without the drama and the hurt and the pain she had always attached to it and it felt good to be reunited again.

She was almost too lost in her own thoughts to hear his reply.

"You better."

* * *

**A/N**** Hey guys, sorry this has taken so long! I know it's annoying to wait for updates but I have been so inordinately busy. I am quite literally getting about 4 hours sleep a night. Fun, fun. Anyway, I don't mean to complain so I won't. Just to explain this has jumped 4 years into the future since the last chapter (as they did in the actual show) and there has been a bit of an allusion to a Leyton meeting whilst Peyton was in L.A.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own One Tree Hill…damn**

**Anyway, I also wanted to write about something that I know may seem out of the blue, but I feel I should share. As I said I am extremely busy and the intervals between posting chapters is just getting longer and longer. I do really enjoy writing and I hope you my efforts too, but I am thinking of taking a hiatus, and I don't know how long it'll be for. I may not take one if I feel as though I'd be letting too many people down, I just think that at the moment my writing time could be used for other things and not many people would be that affected if I stopped writing. I'm not using this as some sort of ploy to get more reviews; I just thought that anyone reading this deserved to know where my head is at. That being said, I will write the next chapter and I really would love to hear your thoughts on the story/chapters etc. Any criticism is welcomed (just nothing too rude).**

**So I hoped you like it and please REVIEW**


End file.
